Marge Simpson Quotes
Homer: I'm sorry Marge, but I refuse to live under the same roof with a member of the LIBERAL media!
Marge: [to Kent] You'll have to excuse him, he watches too much FOX News.
Homer: Did you know that every day, Mexican gays sneak into the country and unplug brain-dead ladies?
Marge: Oh hi kids, you're just in time to go to the dentist!
Bart: DENTIST?! You said we were going to ride dirt bikes around the cemetery!
Lisa: Oh, Bart, you fall for that every six months.
Homer: [Pulls up on a dirt bike] Hey, suckers, check it out -- Marge is taking me to ride dirt bikes at the cemetery!
Lisa: You're going to the dentist too, Dad.
Homer: [solemnly] Why the cemetery, I wondered? But my dreams were too strong...
Kent: [after Homer spills coffee on him] OW! That hurt like a [words are muffled outside the Simpsons house; we go into the house where the pets and the children are open mouthed; Maggie's pacifier falls on the floor; Marge enters the room]
Marge: What did I miss?
Lisa: Kent Brockman just said a very bad swear!
Marge: Which one? [long silence]
Bart: I'll "Etch it-Sketch it" for you. [grabs an Etch it-Sketch-it and begins sketching] Etch-sketch-etch-sketch! [hands it to Marge who gasps in horror]
Marge: [giving it back to Bart] SHAKE IT OFF! SHAKE IT OFF!
Bart: [rapidly shaking the Etch it-Sketch-it] IT WON'T COME OFF!
Marge: [Bart throws it on the floor face down] Where's the hammer?! [runs to get the hammer, returns and smashes the Etch it-Sketch it]
Marge: If someone did eat Bart's shorts, they would have a stomach full of pocket garbage!
• Vote for this Quote! • August 3rd, 2007 Marge: [lost in the corn maze] Maybe we should split up.
Homer: Split up? Marge, no, we can fix this marriage!
Marge: No, no, I didn't mean--
Homer: Fine, you want out? Then go, I can make it on my own! Before I met you, I had friends and dreams!
Marge: I was talking about--
Homer: Oh, please take me back! [sobbing] The dating scene is a nightmare! I'm begging you!
Marge: I just meant we should split up to get out of this corn maze.
Homer: Deep down, I-- I guess I knew that.
Marge: Now, there must be a way out.
Homer: Of our marriage? I don't want to live! [runs away screaming; offscreen] Hey, this maze is made of corn.
Marge: You should've seen the faces of your children when they caught you stealing! Kids, get in here and show your father the faces!
[Bart, Lisa and Maggie enter the kitchen with their sad faces]
Homer: [sobbing] Make them stop!
Marge: You make them stop by doing the right thing!
Ghost Homer: You want to have ghost sex?
Ghost Marge: I keep telling you, ghost sex is nothing! It's worse than nothing!
Ghost Homer: Then why were you moaning last time?
Ghost Marge: Because I'm a GHOST! Whooooo!
Ghost Homer: AAAAHH! A ghost! [flies away from Marge]
Homer: What's wrong?
Marge: I can't fill out that clipboard. I don't have e-mail. (crowd gasps)
Homer: Oh Marge, you got to get on the Net. It's got all the best conspiracy theories! Did you know that Hezbollah owns Little Dolly Snack Cakes? This stuff will rock your world!
Marge (skeptically): Fine, I'll log onto Wahoo or Yippy or A-O-K or Pooka-dooka or whatever it's called!
Marge: Homer no! Revenge never solves anything!
Homer: Then what is America doing in Iraq?!
Marge: Homer, I want to show the world how I feel about you!
Homer: The world's really not that interested!
