Marge Simpson Quotes (Page 5)
Homer: Oh. What am I gonna call my Internet company? All the good names are taken. Oh, wait. I've got it. Flancrest Enterprises. [checks name availability] D'oh!
Marge: What exactly is it your company does again?
Homer: This industry moves so fast, it's really hard to tell. That's why I need a name that's cutting edge like CUTCO or Edgecom. Interslice. Come on, Marge. You're good at these. Help me out.
Marge: How about CompuGlobalHyperMegaNet?
Homer: Fine. It's not important. What really matters is my title. I think I'll make myself... vice president. No, wait. Junior vice president. (phone rings) CompuGlobalHyperMegaNet, Junior vice president Homer Simpson speaking. How may I direct your call? [looks annoyed, then hands phone to Marge] It's Patty.
Marge: Homer, what are you doing?
Homer: No time to answer that, Marge. I'm setting up a home office for my new business enterprise.
Marge: What business enterprise?
Homer: Ever heard of a little thing called the Internet?.
Marge: Internet, eh?
Homer: Oh, yeah. Everybody's making money off the Internet except us. We've fallen behind. Way behind.
Marge: [points to the butter that is serving as a pencil-holder] Is that my good butter?
Homer: Can't discuss that now, Marge. I have to write another delicious memo. [holds pencil tip to mouth] Mmm. Memo.
Marge: It's so late. You kids have to go to bed.
Bart: But the flood's only knee high. At least let us watch till the midgets drown.
Lisa: Yeah, Mom. Come on. You let us stay up to watch Troy McClure in such other Bible epics as David Versus Super-Goliath and Suddenly, Last Supper.
Bart: Go, Lise. Way to cite precedent. [Bart and Lisa high-five]
Marge: You what?
Homer: I've joined the Movementarians. And so have all of you.
Marge: We what?
Homer: All I had to give them was our life savings, the deed to the house, and a commitment of 10 trillion years of labor.
Marge: I can't go along with this, Homer!
Homer: Marge, when I join an underground cult, I expect a little support from my family.
Lisa: Dad, do you think you might have been brainwashed?
Homer: I have not been brainwashed... Kill the Girl. Kill the Girl [reaches hands out slowly, trying to grab her]
Marge: Homer!
Homer: What? What did I say?
Marge: We can't just give up our home. There's gotta be a way to get those guys out of there.
Bart: I say we set fire to the house. Kill 'em that way.
Marge: We don't want to kill them, Bart. We just want our home back.
Lisa: Well, if we did set fire to the house--
Marge: No fires!
Homer: I've got it!
Marge: No fires!
Homer: Oh.
Marge: There must be a way to outsmart them.
Homer: Ah, you can't outsmart carnival folk. They're the cleverest folk in the world. Just look at the way they sucker regular folk with those crooked games. [gasps] That's it. Fire! [Marge glares] Or--
Snake: [singing] I'm back to commit, felonious assault, because your infernal singing, just would not halt!
Marge: Actually, we're done.
Bart: Done done!
Homer: And not a moment too soon.
Snake: Oh, okay then, well I got no beef with you! [leaves]
Marge: [hums the song]
[A shot breaks the window]
Marge: Alright, alright! Sorry!
Marge: We got the popcorn. Did you get Waiting to Exhale?
Homer: Well, they put us on the Waiting to Exhale waiting list, but they said don't hold your breath.
Marge: The first house I have to show you is, um... a handyman's dream. [smiles half-heartedly and lets out an "Mm-hmm"] Because it's so dilapidated. [groans]
Ned Flanders: Well, nothing's perfect. I sure hate to make you come out here and not buy a house.
Maude Flanders: Now, slow down, Neddie. The home buyer's course said always look inside the house before buying.
(Front wall of the main part of the house falls down to reveal that this is where Lenny Leonard lives. The interior is also dilapidated and is mostly empty)
Marge: Well, there it is.
Lenny: Please don't tell anyone how I live.
Marge: Excuse me, Mr. Szyslak. Have you ever considered selling your home?
Moe: What? No. Why? What? Why? What have you heard? Are you implying I'm in some sort of financial trouble?
Marge: No.
Moe: Well, I am. Let me have that card.
Bart: Why are we getting dressed up, Mom? Are we going to Black Angus?
Marge: Well, you might say we're going to the best steakhouse in the whole universe.
Bart: So we're not going to Black Angus.