Marge Simpson Quotes (Page 7)
John: ...and Helen Lovejoy, sure, she looks blonde, but I’ve heard cuffs and collar don’t match, if you get my drift.
Marge: I don’t, but I loved hearing it!
Homer: Marge, the boy was wearing a Hawaiian shirt!
Marge: So?
Homer: There’s only two kind of guys who wear those shirts: gay guys and big, fat party animals, and Bart doesn’t look like a big, fat party animal to me!
Marge: So, if you wore a Hawaiian shirt, it wouldn’t be gay?
Homer: Right! Thank you.
Homer: That John is the greatest guy in the world. We've gotta have him and his wife over for drinks sometime.
Marge: Hmm, I don’t think he’s married, Homer.
Homer: Oh, a swinging bachelor, eh? Well, there’s lots of foxy ladies out there.
Marge: Homer, didn’t John seem a little… festive to you?
Homer: Couldn’t agree more, happy as a clam.
Marge: He prefers the company of men.
Homer: Who doesn’t?
Marge: Homer, listen carefully. John is a homo...
Homer: Right...
Marge: ...sexual.
Marge: Oh, Homer, look. Look, a TV Guide owned by Jackie O!
John: Oh, you should see the crossword puzzle. She thought that Mindy lived with "Mark."
Homer: Give her a break! Her husband was killed!
John: Oh, I know. Wasn't that awful?
Bart: Ma, could you get me some milk?
Marge: [feeding Maggie] Can't you get it yourself?
Bart: No, that's okay. I'll just go without liquid. [acts as if he desperately needs something to drink]
Marge: Oh, all right, all right! I'll get your milk. [goes into the kitchen]
Bart: Thank you.
Marge: [from the kitchen] Does anyone else want anything while I'm up?
All: No.
Homer: [Marge returns with Bart's glass of milk] Marge, get me a beer.
Marge: OHHH!
Lisa: Uh, Mom?
Marge: [annoyed] What?!
Lisa: Um, there's a hair in my soup. But I'll just eat around it.
Marge: What kind of hair?
Lisa: Well, it's blue. [produces it] Six feet long.
Bart and Homer: Eeew.
Marge: [gasps] That's MY hair!
Homer: It was an alien Marge, it appeared in front of me and said "Don't be afraid."
Marge: Have you been drinking?
Homer: No.... well... ten beers!
Marge: Well most women will tell you that you're a fool to think you can change a man, but those women are quitters!
Lisa: What?
Marge: When I first met your father, he was loud, crude, and piggish. But I worked hard on him, and now he's a whole new person.
Lisa: Mom...?
Marge: He's a whole new person, Lisa.
Larry: I'm looking for this guy; anybody know him?
Bart: Sure, we know him. That's Mr. Burns.
Lisa: He tried to kill our puppies!
Marge: He sexually harassed me!
Grandpa: He stole my fiancée!
Homer: He made fun of my weight!
[Long pause. Then...]
Larry: Okay, so there's been some friction. Know his address?
Marge: Cannons are designed to hurt! They're designed to hurt!
Lisa: Shhh! Mom, Dad needs our support!
Marge: What you're saying is so understandable. And really, your only crime was violating U.S. law.
• Vote for this Quote! • July 23rd, 2007