Marshall Eriksen Quotes (Page 5)
Barney: Ladies, gentlemen, Ted. This has been a wonderful evening. I got great dirt on all you guys. I got Ted to tell the Re-return. I finally nailed Shannon. Told her I'd call her tomorrow...ayeah, right! And I rediscovered how awesomely awesome my life is. Peace out, hombres!
[the rest of the group is silent]
Marshall: I think Barney just won game night.
Lily: You ralphed and ran?
Marshall: I thought you were vomit free since '93. So that was a lie.
Robin: You re-returned for me. That's really sweet, though you kind of ruined my customized Scherbatsky doormat.
Marshall: Well, we have the whole place to ourselves...
Lily: I'm thinking...floor sex!
Marshall: Sounds reasonable.
Marshall: Backgammon sucks. I took the only good part of backgammon, the gammon, and I left the rest of it in the trash where it belongs.
• Vote for this Quote! • March 29th, 2007 phone]
Marshall: Victoria, that was an honest and mature answer. You may advance to the Gumdrop Mountains.
Lily: Baby, I need to do something and I can't do it in front of you. It will change the nature of our relationship
Marshall: What is it?
Lily: I need to pee
Marshall: This is bad, we've gone 9 years without peeing in front of each other.
Marshall: A drumroll? That's it? So, what, you just said good night, came home and... performed a drum solo?
Lily: Oh Ted, you're such a doof. I mean, this girl sounds amazing.
Ted: She was completely amazing. She was amazing, and funny, and we connected on every level, and I'm never gonna see her again.
[Marshall and Lily look at Ted in disbelief at what he's saying.]
Ted: Dammit, I have to see her again!!
Marshall and Lily: YES!
Marshall: So, let's get to work, man! What else do you know about her?
Ted: Nothing! Her name's Victoria; that's all I got...wait, Claudia. Claudia would know.
Lily: Claudia is on her honeymoon. She'll be back in two weeks; call her then.
Ted: Yes, two weeks, good idea... I'm calling her now.
Lily: No, Ted, you don't mess with the honeymoon.
Marshall: Yea, come on dude. [whispering] Ask her about the cake.
Lily: Ohhh... what is wrong with you?
Marshall: Y-Dude, that is just, like, a weenie-ass idea.
Ted: No! It was awesome! I had a great night, I'm never going to see her again, and there's no way to ruin it.
Marshall: Ted, how do I explain this to you: last night I ate the best cake of my life. You think I'm gonna let that cake out of my life? Hell no! I'm gonna find out what bakery made that cake, and then I'm gonna get some more cake!
Ted: The cake really got to you, huh?
Marshall: ... It haunts me.
Lily: [to Ted as he walks out of his bedroom] Hey, where the hell did you disappear to last night?
Ted: I had the most... amazing night ever.
Marshall: Tell me about it! That cake. Best cake I ever had. Seriously, my stomach was like "Hey bro, I don't know what you're eating cause I don't have any eyes but it's basically awesome so keep sending it down Gullet Alley."
Lily: Yeah, I know, my stomach was like "Girlfriend, we don't always get along but that cake..."
Marshall: Ok, I'm just saying that it's my wedding too and I should have a say in it.
Lily: But I'm the bride. So, I win.
Marshall: But I thought marriage is about two equal partners, sharing a life together.
Lily: Right, but I'm the bride. So, I win.
