Mayor Quimby Quotes
Mayor Quimby: (in gay-pride video) Springfield, a place where anyone can marry, even dudes. We're just off Route 202. Do not take the Jefferson Avenue exit. For God's sake, do not take that exit!
• Vote for this Quote! • August 2nd, 2007 Quimby: Simpson, you idiot! You spent your entire year's budget in a month! Your department's broke!
Homer: Uh...oh no! Wait! I think I've got the perfect solution.
Quimby: You'd better! Because those garbage men won't work for free!
Homer: D'oh!
Mayor Quimby: Can't we have one meeting that doesn't end with us digging up a corpse?
• Vote for this Quote! • July 23rd, 2007 Executive: Pack up. We're leaving. We only have a thousand dollars anyway.
Quimby: There's a thousand dollar leaving-town tax!
Mayor Quimby: We'll blow up our dams, destroy forests, anything! If there's a species of animal that's causing problems nosing around your camera, we'll have it wiped out!
Director: Look, we just want to make movies, not kill things.
Chief Wiggum: Riiight, we understand... Heh.
Mayor Quimby: All right, settle down, people. We are all upset by Mr. Burns' plan to block out our sun. It is time for decisive action! I have here a polite but firm letter to Mr. Burns' underlings who, with some cajoling, will pass it along to him or at least give him the gist of it.
Mayor's Bodyguard: (whispering) Sir, a lot of people are stroking guns...
Mayor Quimby: Also, it has been brought to my attention that a number of you are stroking guns. Therefore, I will step aside and open up the floor.
Lisa: I remember you. Mayor Quimby, right?.
Quimby: Uh, no. Check my license. It's Mohammed Jafar.
Otto: Hey, Quimby, when you're done with this fare, haul your indicted ass down to the convention center!
Quimby: [bitterly, under his breath] I cut the ribbon at that convention center.
Chief Wiggum: Oh, sorry folks. (Sarcastic) Gee, I really hate to spoil this little love-in, but Mr. Malloy broke the law. And when you break the law, you gotta go to jail.
Mayor Quimby: Uh, that reminds me, er, here's your monthly kickback.
Chief Wiggum: You just -- you couldn't have picked a worse time.
Mayor Quimby: (sotto voice) Human roaches...feeding off each other's garbage. The only thing you can't buy here is dignity! (into the microphone) Welcome, swappers, to the Springfield Swap Meet. Ich bin ein Springfield Swap Meet patron! (sotto voice again) I need a drink and a shower...
• Vote for this Quote! • July 17th, 2007
