Meg Griffin Quotes (Page 5)
Lois Griffin: Okay, Peter, this is for the win. Say the word "what".
Peter Griffin: Oh...wow. Okay, um...this, uh, really separates the men from the boys. Uhhhh...
Lois Griffin: Peter, just say "what."
Peter Griffin: Ah, ah, ah, ah, now Lois, Lois, this is not a race. Um, okay I wanna say "who" ...uh, oh boy, uh... Fantastic Four... Fantastic Four, uh, steak, steak, steak, steak, uh, small amount of peas... um, is it "what"?
Lois Griffin: That's right. You win, Peter! You did it!
Peter Griffin: Oh my God, I won. I won!
Chris Griffin: My dad's smarter than your dad!
Meg Griffin: We have the same dad, idiot!
Chris Griffin: Yeah, but mine's smarter!
Meg Griffin: [after sex] Wow, Jimmy. That was everything Ladies' Home Journal said it would be.
Jimmy Fallon: [in bed, snickering]: Awesome. Great. Thanks. Um, you know, there's something I... there's something I've gotta tell you. Being with you makes me feel so a-live from New York, IT'S SATURDAY NIGHT!
[Lois and Peter watch in the green room]
Lois Griffin: Oh, my God!
Peter Griffin: Yeah, that wasn't a very good opening sketch, was it? A rare miss.
Lois Griffin: I don't think that was a sketch, Peter.
Meg Griffin: Mom, Dad! He used me for comedy!
Peter Griffin: Wait a minute, are you telling me that my daughter was deflowered in front of one-and-a-half times the MADtv audience?
Peter Griffin: Alright, Dr. Ditty. I got three choices for you for the name of the band: Peter Griffin Starship, Peter Griffin and the Sunday Steppers, or Testicular Sound Express.
Dr. Ditty: I think the name is Meg.
Meg Griffin: Me? Why?
Peter Griffin: Yeah, why?
Dr. Ditty: Let me explain something to you, all right? We got to get her half-naked and put her out front, center stage. And that's gonna make y'all billionaires, because America loves hot, white, jailbait ass.
Peter Griffin: Wait a minute...that's the smartest thing i've ever heard anyone say about anything.
Lois Griffin: I'm not sure I'm comfortable with Meg being exploited that way.
Meg Griffin: Shut up, mom! It's not your decision, I want to be exploited.
Lois Griffin: Peter take a look at your daughter.
Peter Griffin: Oh my God, Lois, I'm sorry, it was 15 years ago, I'd never even heard the word rubber.
Lois Griffin: Peter, this is Meg!
Meg Griffin: I got a makeover, Dad! Don't I look great?
Peter Griffin: Oh Meg, honey, I always thought you were beautiful just the way you- Oh God, couldn't do that with a straight face!
Meg Griffin: Mom, Dad, am I ugly?
Lois Griffin: Oh, of course not, sweetie.
Peter Griffin: Yeah, where'd you get a stupid idea like that?
Meg Griffin: Craig Hoffman.
Peter Griffin: Craig H-Craig Hoffman said that? Well, he's a sharp kid; you might be ugly.
Lois Griffin: So, Chris, how's the latest with your little girlfriend?
Chris Griffin: Oh, I don't think Mrs. Lockhart likes me at all.
Lois Griffin: Mrs. Lockhart? Your teacher?
Peter Griffin [ignoring Lois and Chris]: Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Lois, this is not my Batman glass.
Lois Griffin: Peter, are you listening? Chris has a crush on his teacher!
Meg Griffin: Ew, gross!
Stewie Griffin: You know what else is gross? [tries to force a fart but his right eye turns red] Ahh, broke a damn blood vessel!
TV Announcer: And now, back to Two and a Half Men.
[the screen shows two men and another man with his legs cut off, all three screaming and moving around in pain]
Half Man: Kill me! Please!
Meg Griffin: Turn it, Chris! I want to watch George Lopez.
Chris Griffin: That show only furthers the stereotype that George López is funny.
Chris Griffin: I want a new hat!
Meg Griffin: I want a new hat!
Stewie Griffin: I want them to have new hats!
Meg Griffin: Jolly Farm is on, Stewie. Don't you want to watch?
Stewie Griffin: No. The Stewie who loved Jolly Farm is dead. Meet the Stewie who loves funky fruit hats!
[Peter and Lois are nude]
Meg Griffin: Oh my God, what are you going?!
Lois Griffin: We were wrong, Meg. If you like Jeff, we should give him a chance.
Peter Griffin: Yeah, and we wanted him to feel welcome in our home.
Chris Griffin: [walks in naked] Mom, I need new batteries for my Walkman. Hey, why is everybody else naked?