Michael Bluth Quotes (Page 10)
Michael: Sorry that my son couldn’t be here.
Stan Sitwell: Let me guess. Girlfriend. You know, it could be worse. He could want to marry your mother. (Only Stan laughs) Oh, I’m sorry. Is your family not laughing at that yet?
Lucille: Get me a vodka rocks.
Michael: Mom, it’s breakfast.
Lucille: And a piece of toast.
Lucille: Modest and generous? Then why is he always waving giant $10 million checks over his head every time some...?
Michael: Go ahead, Mom, finish the thought. Every time some children’s hospital needs funding?
Lucille: Nonetheless. We could get a giant checkbook, too. We’re just not that starved for attention.
Michael: Where's Sitwell?
Gob: Sorry, I told him to screw off. But get this, he offered me a job!
Michael: What?
Michael: I think she needs some "Afternoon Delight."
Narrator: Oscar thought Michael was referring to a particular kind of cannabis, called "Afternoon Delight."
Oscar: Well, sure. The question is, which way do I try to get it in her?
Michael: I don't need any details.
Oscar: Maybe... I'll put it in her brownie.
Michael: Hey!
Lucille: Michael. I was almost attacked last night, in my own home. I walk in and there’s a colored man in my kitchen.
Michael: Colored? What color was he?
Lucille: Blue.
Michael: Everything okay?
Gob: I just don't want people's kids getting their sticky little fingers all over my $2,600 dollar pants. Come on!
Gob: I did the right thing, Michael. If I don't fire them, how do I teach a lesson to the others?
Michael: There are no others. You fired everyone.
Michael: Are you serious?
Wayne Jarvis: Almost always. I was once called the worst audience participant Cirque du Soleil ever had.
Michael: This is a big accusation.
Wayne Jarvis: Well, Michael, I did not find their buffoonery amusing.
Tobias: I just found out that my cellular telephone was a lemon. It didn’t work.
Lindsay: Coincidentally, neither do you.
Michael: Pretty brave card for you to play.
