Michael Bluth Quotes (Page 17)
Michael: Boy, the lengths you'll go to sleep with a woman.
Gob: Believe me, we didn't do any sleeping. I had sex last night.
Narrator: But he really didn't.
Gob: Yes, I did.
Gob: You should'a stayed with me last night. You could've seen me get some major action. From a major blonde. Who just majored in marine biology, if you know what I mean.
Michael: I don't know what you mean. I can't imagine what that means.
Michael: [re: Maggie] I certainly can't take advantage of her now, knowing what I know.
Gob: What? No, Michael, you can! Don't you ... You just won the gold medal at the sexual Special Olympics. She can't ever find you again. Don't you see that you're so lucky? God, how do you not ... ?
Lindsay: I'll tell you what. I'll take you down to see Nana if you split the money with me 60-40.
Maeby: 55-55.
Lindsay: Deal.
Michael: Sounds like you guys are getting more than you think.
Lindsay: We should go now before your Dad gets back. No need going halfsies with him, too.
Michael: How'd you know I was here?
Gob: I called the office. You know, that Kitty is starting to sound pretty damn sexy to me. Maybe I ought to -
Michael: That was Lindsay.
Gob: Oh.
Michael: Yeah.
Michael: He's not a chicken. He just doesn't like confined spaces, that's all.
Gob: I thought it was open spaces.
Buster: No, it's both.
Michael: Thanks for coming out, buddy. I've been dying to get some time with you, I really have.
George Michael: That's okay. I know how much you care about me. Unfortunately, so does the federal government.
Lindsay: Dad hired me out of college.
Michael: You quit college.
Lindsay: Yeah, well I had a job. What was the point?
Michael: Lindsay. Thank you so much. He doesn't want me to marry Miss Baerly. HE wants to marry Miss Baerly.
Lindsay: Wow. I got that totally wrong. Oh well, no harm, no foul.
[flashback to last night]
Lindsay: George Michael, open up! I want you to need me!
Michael: I don't think us sleeping together is working out. You're a grown man. You should be living with your mother.
Buster: Yeah. I miss mom.
Michael: I can tell.