Michael Bluth Quotes (Page 3)
Michael: We're prohibited from doing any business outside of the country while we're under investigation.
Gob: Translation: wish I'd thought of that.
Steve Holt: Nice translating, dad!
Lucille: Oh, Michael, you're crazy.
Michael: I certainly hope so.
Lucille: I'm trying to seduce him.
Michael: Who's the "I" in that sentence?
Lucille: Me!
Michael: You?
Narrator: Her.
Lindsay: Did it ever occur to you that Warden Gentles likes her?
Michael: Likes her what?
Lindsay: No, I mean, likes her, like he's attracted to her.
Michael: Who's the "her" in that sentence?
Lindsay: Mom! Warden Gentles likes mom.
Michael: Her?
Narrator: Michael was worried. His mother may have been making sense, so he returned home to talk to Rita.
Tobias: Ah, here comes the bride. [points camera to Michael's genitals]
Michael: What are you doing in a wheelchair?
Tobias: No, no it's a dolly to help videotape your nuptials.
Michael: I don't think I need any footage of my nuptials. Tobias, are you sure that this dolly isn't related to your recent health problems?
Tobias: Okay, so my legs and my left arm occasionally go to sleep, and you wanna' call it a health problem.
Gob: I'm going to buy you the single healthiest call girl this town has ever seen.
Michael: This is why I'm calling it a witness and not a best man. All you gotta do is watch.
Gob: Oh I'm not going to pay that kind of money and not watch.
Rita: Are houses terribly hard to make?
Michael: Well, the hardest part is finding the land.
Rita: Instead of building houses, maybe you should be building land. On the ocean. There's no land on the ocean, Michael.
Michael: You are brilliant.
Narrator: Yeah. She wasn't.
Michael: It's time for us to start having some fun.
George Michael: I don't know. "Fun and Failure both start out the same way."
Michael: Besides, I already got George Michael the big present for his birthday...
George Michael: A suit! Dad, is it Jack Welsh?
Michael: I want you to look under the pants.
George Michael: Quicken! Premiere! Dad, I hope you kept the receipt.
Michael: You want to return that?
George Michael: What? No, I want to deduct it.
Gob: Hey, can you do me a favor? A young neighborhood tough by the name of Steve Holt will be dropping by, and...
Michael: Your son?
Gob: A... ccording to him.
Michael: And a DNA test.
Gob: I hear the jury's still out on science.
Narrator: GOB had been a pageant judge for years.
GOB: You cannot believe what it does for your sex life.
Michael: I don't want to hear it.
GOB: I don't want to say it.First place chick is hot, but has an attitude; doesn't date magicians. Second place is someone weird usually, like a Chinese girl or a geologist. But third place, although a little bit plain has super-low self-esteem, so I step in and, uh... lay her crown upon my sweet head.
Michael: Have I missed this euphemism?
