Michael Bluth Quotes (Page 4)
Lindsay: If I can get that crown for Hope, then maybe I can get her father to crown me, if you know what I mean.
Michael: I'm guessing have sex, but that's meeting you more than half way.
Narrator: And Michael did try again with Rita, but this time determined to keep no secrets.
Michael: I want to tell you everything if ... if you're willing to listen.
Rita: I'm a very good listener.
Michael: Great. Start with the misdemeanors and then, we're gonna push right on through to the lighter treasons. So, 1983...
Gob: Buster's the one who hit her, I just gave her the ruffie!
Michael: Ruffie?
Gob: Forget-me-now.
Michael: You... beat and drugged Rita?
Gob: [trying to force a forget-me-now down Michael's throat] Take this and love us again!
Michael: Instead of trying to impress our fake father, maybe you should be spending some time with your real son.
Gob: Steve Holt's not my son.
George Michael: Steve Holt?! The moron jock?
Gob: That's my son you pothead!
Bob Loblaw: [pager buzzes] Excuse me, that's one of my partners.
Lindsay: I... I would like to be one of your partners!! [to Michael] Do you think he got that? the two meanings?
Michael: He's running pretty fast, I think he did.
Commercial: Bob Loblaw, no habla espanol.
Michael: Well we're not here to talk nonsense to Bob Loblaw.
Gob: My God, what is this feeling?
Michael: Well, you know the-the feeling that you’re... that you’re feeling is-is what many of us call “a feeling.”
Gob: But it’s not like envy, or even hungry.
Michael: Could it be love?
Gob: I know what an erection feels like, Michael. No, it’s the opposite. It’s... it’s like my heart is getting hard.
Michael: Great. I was wondering if you might be willing to go somewhere with me. I would pay you.
Rita: You’ll pay me?
Michael: Not... Not for sex. You’re going to think that I’m Jack the Ripper, right? Didn’t he kill prostitutes or...?
Rita: I’m not a prostitute.
Michael: Then I shall let you live.
George, Sr.: Well, yes, it takes a little courage, Michael. I know that's not your strongest suit. You're even scared to ask a girl out on a date.
Michael: Why does everyone think I'm scared of girls?
George, Sr.: 'Cause you're a chicken. You're a chicken. Coo-coo-ca-cha, coo-coo-ca-cha!
Michael: What are you doing?
Lucille: Michael and women? A-coodle-doodle-do, a-coodle-doodle-do.
Lindsay: That's what I was just telling him. Chaw-chi-chaw!!
Michael: Look, I haven't found the right girl, when I do I will ask her out... has anyone in this family even seen a chicken?
Michael: We've got a picture of you with Saddam Hussein.
George, Sr.: I thought.... I thought that was the guy who played the Soup Nazi. I told him how much I liked his work.