Michael Kelso Quotes (Page 3)
Kelso: I miss Eric.
Jackie: Well, you still have me.
Kelso: It's not the same Jackie! I can talk to Eric about things that...that I can't talk about with you.
Jackie: Ok, well like what?
Kelso: Well, for instance, the annoying things that you do.
Kelso: I don't see why you can't just serve us our food, Frank. We are paying customers, you know?
Frank: Hey, I did not lose a leg in Vietnam so that I could serve hot dogs to teenagers.
Kelso: You have both your legs, Frank.
Frank: Like I said, I did not lose a leg in Vietnam.
Donna: [to Jackie and Kelso] Finally. Where have you guys been?
Kelso: We had to look for the paper, and eat, and then some stuff happened, you know.
Eric: Your shirt's on inside out.
Kelso: Yeah, that's the stuff.
[Donna leaves after finding out that Eric kissed Laurie's friend, Kate]
Kelso: I guess Donna didn't take it very well.
Red: Take what well?
Kelso: Eric made out with Kate.
Red: Anything else?
Fez: Your son is a whore!
Red: Kelso, stop saying "porno."
Kelso: I didn't say it Mr. Foreman, Fez did.
Fez: You are a bitch.
Kelso: Eric, The Omen's playing in the drive-in! You know what this means for us?... It's make-out city!
Eric: I really like you as a friend Kelso... Can I bring a girl?
Fez: I am telling you. I heard it. The devil is singing backwards on the record.
Hyde: It's not the devil, man! It's congress. They passed a secret law to put backward messages in our records, man! They wanna kill rock 'n roll because they know it makes us horny, man!
Eric: Doesn't pretty much everything make us horny?
Kelso: Cartoons make me horny! Oh, and food!
Kelso: Jackie, where'd you go?
Jackie: I had to get something for you to bite on cause I told everyone you were having a seizure!
Destroy: Hey, Kelshmo, what, your tap is broken? Why did you do something stupid like buy a stupid, broken tap? What are you, stupid?
Kelso: It wasn't broken until you broke it!
Hyde: Let's drink beer!
Kelso: Me first.
Donna: No way! I spotted it.
Kelso: Nah, I saw it too. I just didn't say anything.
Hyde: You saw a keg and you didn't say anything?! BACK OF THE LINE!
