Michael Scott Quotes
Michael: Oh, hey David, I'm glad you called, Ryan is being such a little bitch again...
Ryan: I'm on Michael.
Michael: Oh hey Ryan, what's up my brother?!
Michael: Dunder Mifflin. Limitless paper in a paperless world.
• Rating 4.9 / 5 • Vote for this Quote! • October 30th, 2007Meredith: I'm excited about doing the ad, but I'm not really used to doing videos with so many people around.
• Rating 5.0 / 5 • Vote for this Quote! • October 30th, 2007Michael: Phyllis is like our Mrs. Butterworth. Kind of a less urban Aunt Jemima.
• Rating 5.0 / 5 • Vote for this Quote! • October 30th, 2007 Michael: Hey, hey, hey!
Oscar: Michael, are you having money problems?
Michael: Monkey problem? No, I'm not having monkey problems. Why would I have monkey problems?
Oscar: You heard me correctly.
Michael: I hate monkeys.
Pam: What's going on, why do you have a second job?
Michael: I don't have a second job. Maybe I'm having an affair with Suzanne Sommers.
Pam: Doesn't Jan have money?
Michael: I don't talk to my girlfriend about money. It is rude and unsexual.
Kevin: True, it's best to hide our money problems from women.
Michael: I totally agree with you. But I don't have money problems, I don't. Alright, you know what? Watch this, if I had money problems, would I do this? [Michael takes out a dollar bill, crumples it up and puts it back in his pocket]
Stanley: You just put it back in your pocket.
Michael: Yeah, but I destroyed it. It's not even useable anymore.
Ryan: What I really want, honestly, Michael, is for you to know it so you can communicate it to the people here, to your clients, to whomever.
Michael: Oh okay...
Ryan: What?
Michael: It's whoever, not whomever.
Ryan: No, it's whomever.
Michael: No, whomever is never actually right.
Jim: Well, sometimes it's right.
Creed: Michael is right. It's a made-up word used to trick students.
Andy: No. Actually, whomever is the formal version of the word.
Oscar: Obviously it's a real word, but I don't know when to use it correctly.
Michael: Not a native speaker.
Michael: I just love sales. I love it to death. It's as simple as that. And I don't get to do it enough as a manager, so I took this second job. I count it as a hobby. Some people have golf, or relaxing.
• Vote for this Quote! • October 30th, 2007 Michael: So bankruptcy is kind of like the witness protection program?
(in unison)
Oscar: NOT AT ALL.
Creed: EXACTLY.
Michael: It was a pretty disappointing day. It was kind of a slap in the face, to realize that I wasn't as important as I thought I was to a certain young executive. Who I had cared about. But you know, I'm not going to cry about it. I did that on the way home.
• Rating 4.0 / 5 • Vote for this Quote! • October 30th, 2007 Michael: You guys should come over for dinner. You and Pam, that'd be fun. Friday? Wanna come over Friday?
Jim: Aw... can't.
Michael: After work, you can?
Jim: Oh no... 'cause... you're gonna let me know when we're close right?