Michael Scott Quotes (Page 15)
Michael: I lost Ed Truck... and it feels like somebody took my heart and dropped it into a bucket of boiling tears... and at the same time, somebody else is hitting my soul in the crotch with a frozen sledgehammer... and then a third guy walks in and starts punching me in the grief bone... and I'm crying, and nobody can hear me, because I'm terribly, terribly... terribly alone.
• Rating 5.0 / 5 • Vote for this Quote! • June 28th, 2007 Jan: (on speaker phone) So, I wanted to let you know that we lost Ed Truck
Michael: Oh-kay, let me see if I have his cell. Is this the only reason you are calling Jan or does somebody miss me?
Jan: Michael…..Ed died over the weekend.
Michael: Oh, wow.
Michael: I shall now be serving Dwight's job as Assistant Regional Manager.
Dwight: That's Assistant to the Regional Manager.
Michael: Hey, I thought you weren't supposed to eat anything for a couple hours after you've had a crown put it?
Dwight: ...They have this new kind of quick-drying bonding.
Michael: Oh? sounds like a good dentist.
Dwight: Yea...
Michael: What's his name?
Dwight: [long pause] Crentist.
Michael: Your dentist's name is Crentist...huh. Sounds a lot like dentist.
Dwight: Maybe that's why he became a dentist?
Michael: "Hug it out, bitch." That is what men say to each other after a fight. They hug it out, in doing so they just let it go, and walk away, and they're done. Not a good idea to say that to a woman, however, I have found. Doesn't translate.
• Vote for this Quote! • June 28th, 2007 Michael:[After telling Dwight he's the standing manager] Well, I guess we should go tell the troops!
Dwight: When I'm ready, Mike.
Michael : Business is like a jungle. And I am like a tiger. And Dwight is like a monkey… that stabs a tiger in the back with a stick. Does the tiger fire the monkey? Does the tiger transfer the monkey to another branch? Pun. There is no way of knowing what goes on inside the tiger’s head. We don’t have the technology.
• Vote for this Quote! • June 28th, 2007 Dwight: (referring to Jerome Bettis) Why do they call him "The Bus"?
Michael: Because he's afraid to fly.
Michael: Guess where I am going? I'll give you a hint: It is a booze-fueled sex romp where anything goes. [looks to camera] You are correct, sir! I'm headed to Philadelphia for the Annual Northeastern Mid-market Office Supply Convention!
• Vote for this Quote! • June 28th, 2007 Jan: I guess I underestimated you.
Michael: Yeah, well, maybe next time, you will...estimate me.
