Michael Scott Quotes (Page 17)
Michael: You don't call retarded people retards. It's bad taste. You call your friends retards when they are acting retarded. And I consider Oscar a friend.
• Rating 5.0 / 5 • Vote for this Quote! • June 28th, 2007 Michael: I call everybody faggy. Why would anyone find that offensive?
Toby: I think Oscar would like it if you just used "lame" or something.
Michael: But that's what faggy means!
Michael: I know it's illegal in Pennsylvania, but it's for charity, and I consider myself a great philanderer.
• Vote for this Quote! • June 27th, 2007Michael: Two queens at casino night...I am gonna drop a deuce on everybody.
• Rating 5.0 / 5 • Vote for this Quote! • June 27th, 2007 Michael: Oh, and another fun thing. We, at the end of the night, are going to give the check to an actual group of Boy Scouts. Right, Toby?
Toby: Actually, I didn't think it was appropriate to invite children, since it's uh, you know, there's gambling and alcohol, it's in our dangerous warehouse, it's a schoolnight, and you know, Hooter's is catering, and is that- is that enough? Should I keep going?
Michael: Why are you the way that you are? Honestly, every time I try to do something fun, or exciting, you make it... not that way. I hate... so much about the person that you choose to be.
Michael: Nobody leaves till we work this out. Cage match.
• Vote for this Quote! • June 27th, 2007Michael: Here's a Kelly complaint: "Ryan never returns my calls." Join the club.
• Vote for this Quote! • June 27th, 2007 Michael: Alright, Kevin... you are accused of making sexually suggestive remarks to Angela, that made her feel uncomfortable. Solution: Angela, you are to make sexually suggestive remarks to Kevin that make him feel uncomfortable.
Kevin: [quickly] I accept your decision.
Michael: Someone complained that the men's room is "whites only". Stanley, you know that's not true.
Stanley: I didn't say that.
Creed: Then why is there a picture of a white man on the door?
Michael: So, you are all going to have a drug test. And I am not.
Dwight: No, you will be tested.
Michael: Yes, I will not be.
Dwight: No, you will be. That is the law, according to the rules.
Michael: OK, well, Dwight, just know that I've been very busy today, and I've got a lot of work to do, and I wasn't planning on going to the bathroom, and I don't even know if anything's going to come out.
