Michael Scott Quotes (Page 18)
Michael: Okay, attention everyone. The drug testing has been canceled. Instead I will be going around to each of you, and doing a visual inspection.
Dwight: No, you can't do that.
Michael: I can do that, it's my office...and...
Dwight: [interrupting] No you cannot. It has to be official, and IT HAS TO BE URINE.
Toby: Didn't you lose a lot of money on that other investment, the one from that e-mail?
Michael: You know what, Toby? When the son of the deposed King of Nigeria e-mails you directly asking for help, you help. His father ran the freaking country, okay?
Michael: Hey Pam? All that stuff with Kevin...pretty scary. I'm thinking that, uh, next time you're in the shower, you should check yourself out, you know, give yourself an exam. Those things are like ticking timebags.
• Vote for this Quote! • June 27th, 2007 Michael: You know what the best medicine is?
Kevin: The doctor said a combination of Interferon and Dacarbazine.
Michael: And laughter.
Michael: I'm like Superman and the people who work here are like the citizens of Gotham City.
Jim and Dwight: That's Batman.
Michael: Okay, fine, I'll be Aquaman. Where does he live?
Jim: The ocean.
Michael: I work with a bunch of nerds!
Michael: This is Creed, and he is in charge of...something...right?
Creed: That is correct.
Michael: Yes. It is true. I, Michael Scott, am signing up with an online dating service. Thousands of people have done it, and I am going to do it. I need a username, and... I have a great one. [types something] 'Little Kid Lover'. That way people will know exactly where my priorities are at.
• Vote for this Quote! • June 27th, 2007Michael: I'm very sorry, I did not know you were wearing a hearing aid. I thought you were just speaking abnormally.
• Rating 5.0 / 5 • Vote for this Quote! • June 27th, 2007 Michael: Actually, this would be good practice for your wedding toast.
Pam:Um, the bride doesn't...Have you ever been to a wedding?
Michael: Pam, I'm public speaking, so please stop public interrupting me.
• Vote for this Quote! • June 27th, 2007