Michael Scott Quotes (Page 28)
Michael: [To Ryan] Alright, managing by walking around. (they head down the stairs) This is our warehouse. Or, as I like to call it, the whorehouse. But don't you call it that, I've earned the right.
• Vote for this Quote! • April 18th, 2007Michael: I think the main difference between me and Donald Trump is that I get no pleasure out of saying the words "you're fired." "You're fired." Oh, "you're fired." He just makes people sad. And an office can't function that way. No way. "You're fired." I think if I had a catchphrase it would be "you're hired, and you can work here as long as you want." But that's unrealistic, so.
• Vote for this Quote! • April 18th, 2007 Meredith: [reading her birthday card] This one's from Michael, "Let's hope the only downsizing this year is that someone downsizes your age."
Michael: Get it? 'Cause of the downsizing. Rumors. And 'cause you're getting old.
Meredith: I...get it.
Michael: Merideth is so old...(how old is she?) Meredith is so old, that when she went to an antique store, they kept her. I got that off the internet, it's not mine. Hey Meredith, Liz Taylor called she wants her age back and her divorces back! Get it? 'Cause she's getting old, and she's been divorced what, twice?
Michael: I think if I was allergic to dairy I'd kill myself.
• Vote for this Quote! • April 18th, 2007Michael: The most sacred thing I do is care. And provide for my workers, my family. I give them money. I give them food. Not directly, but through the money. I heal them. Today I am in charge of picking a great new healthcare plan. Right, that’s what this is all about. Does that make me their doctor? Um… yes. In a way. Yeah, like a specialist.
• Vote for this Quote! • April 18th, 2007 Dwight: OK, first let's go over some parameters. How many people can I fire?
Michael: Uh, none. You're picking a healthcare plan.
Michael: [after the role-playing exercise] Man, I should've gotten some food.
Kevin: [still role-playing as an Italian] Maybe some spaghetti.
Michael: Okay, Kevin, you can take off that thing. That would really, really show him up, wouldn't it? If I brought in some burritos or some colored greens or some pad thai. I love pad thai.
Stanley: It's "collard greens."
Michael: What?
Stanley: It's "collard greens."
Michael: No, that doesn't really make any sense. Because you don't call them "collard" people. That's offensive.
Michael: Abraham Lincoln once said that "If you are a racist, I will attack you with the North," and those are the principles I carry with me in the workplace.
• Rating 5.0 / 5 • Vote for this Quote! • April 14th, 2007Michael: [after role-playing exercise] You'll notice I didn't have anybody being Arab. I thought that would be too explosive...no pun intended. But I just thought, 'too soon' for Arabs. Maybe next year. The ball's in their court.
• Vote for this Quote! • April 14th, 2007
