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Michael Scott Quotes (Page 5)

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Michael: If Pam wants to show more cleavage, she should be able to. I encourage that.

  • Vote for this Quote! • June 29th, 2007


Michael: Women can't have fun if they don't feel safe. For example, Jan and I have a safe word in case things go too far. Foliage. And if one of us says that word, the other one has to stop. Although last time, she pretended she didn't hear me.

  • Vote for this Quote! • June 29th, 2007


Michael: My point is...a penis when seen in the right context is the most wonderful sight for a woman. But when seen in the wrong context it's like a monster movie.

  • Rating 4.0 / 5Vote for this Quote! • June 29th, 2007


Michael: Let me tell you something. Something from the heart. I am not leaving this office. It will take a SWAT team, to remove me from this office, and maybe not even that."
Dwight: Uh, you could never withstand a SWAT team.
Michael: That's how devoted I am to this job.
Dwight: I'm just saying...
Michael: I know.
Dwight: They would flank you. Throw in a concussion grenade.
Michael: I understand that, Dwight.
Dwight: You would be on the ground, blind, deaf, dumb.
Michael: Do you think you're taking it a little... literally, Dwight? And now we're wasting tape. I'm gonna have to cut this all out. Can you say cut?
Dwight: Cut.
Michael: So I'll know where---
Pam: Cut.
Michael: I'm asking Pam to do it, please.
Pam: Cut.

  • Rating 4.0 / 5Vote for this Quote! • June 29th, 2007


Mrs. Allen: I'm calling the Better Business Bureau!
Michael: Yeah, well, I'm calling the Ungrateful Bee-yotch Hotline!

  • Rating 4.3 / 5Vote for this Quote! • June 29th, 2007



Michael: Mrs. Allen is our most important client. Because every client is our most important client. Even though she’s a pretty unimportant client really.

  • Rating 3.0 / 5Vote for this Quote! • June 29th, 2007


Michael: Here’s the thing, when a company screws up, best thing to do is call a press conference. Alert the media, and then you control the story. Wait for them to find out, and the story controls you. That’s what happened to O.J.

  • Rating 3.0 / 5Vote for this Quote! • June 29th, 2007


Andy: William Doolittle at your service. A.K.A. Will Do.
Jim: Yeah, I'm definitely going to go alone.
Michael: No, no, I need two men on this. That's what she said. No time! But she did. NO TIME!

  • Rating 4.8 / 5Vote for this Quote! • June 29th, 2007


Michael: We have a lot of angry customers out there. This puts us at Threat Level: Midnight.

  • Rating 3.0 / 5Vote for this Quote! • June 29th, 2007


Michael: We have a crisis. Apparently a disgruntled employee at the paper mill decided that it would be funny to put an obscene watermark on our 24-pound cream letter stock. 500 boxes have gone out with the image of a beloved cartoon duck performing...unspeakable acts...upon a certain cartoon mouse that a lot of people like. I've never been a fan.

  • Rating 4.0 / 5Vote for this Quote! • June 29th, 2007


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