Michael Scott Quotes (Page 7)
Michael: Our first fight. If this is about what happened in the bathroom, there was no place to cuddle.
Jan: I feel sick.
Michael: You didn't have any of the potato salad, did you?
Jan: You know, we were good when we were just running around, you know? In secret, it was wrong, and it was exciting, and maybe it was a mistake to take it public.
Michael: [choking up] Well, if that's the way you feel, my lady, then you have hurt me greatly.
Jan: Michael, please don't cry.
Michael: I want the house, Jan. I want the picket fence, I want the ketchup fights, and the tickling and the giggling.
Michael: Why are we going in the bathroom? I thought this is where you liked your privacy.
Jan: Shut up.
Jan: It releases the company in the event that our relationship in your opinion or in reality interferes with work. You get a copy, I get a copy, and a third copy goes to HR.
Michael: Awesome. I'm going to frame mine. I could frame yours, too.
Jan: You realize this is a legal document that says you can't sue the company?
Michael: Over our love.
Jan: I never told you that I love you.
Michael: You don't have to, Jan. This contract says it all.
Michael: [on his potato salad] It's been sitting in my car all day. Sun beating down on the mayonnaise...just...you never know.
• Vote for this Quote! • June 29th, 2007 Michael: Pam, would you smell my breath?
Pam: No, no.
Dwight: Let me smell.
[Dwight puts his face very close to Michael's mouth, who exhales]
Dwight: Good, not great.
Michael: Tonight is so special because my boss' boss' boss, the CFO — not his initials, common mistake — is having a little shindig for all the managers in the company, and Jan and I are going as a couple for the first time. So it's kind of our coming out party, really. And that is why tonight is so special.
• Vote for this Quote! • June 29th, 2007Michael: Ryan has never made a sale. And he started a fire trying to make a cheesy pita. And everybody thinks he's a tease.
• Vote for this Quote! • June 29th, 2007 Pam: [emotional because no one besides Michael has come to her art show, she hugs him] ...Do you have something in your pocket?
Michael: A Chunky. [Pam's eyes widen until Michael reveals he has an actual candy bar in his pocket]
Michael: There are four kinds of business. Tourism. Food service. Railroads. And sales. And hospitals/manufacturing. And air travel.
• Rating 4.0 / 5 • Vote for this Quote! • June 29th, 2007Michael: A boss is like a teacher. And I am like the cool teacher. Like Mr. Handell. Mr. Handell would hang out with us. And he would tell us awesome jokes. And he actually hooked up with one of the students. Um, and then like twelve other kids came forward. It was in all the papers. Really ruined eighth grade for us.
• Vote for this Quote! • June 29th, 2007
