Mike Delfino Quotes
Susan: "Is Edie getting you a good lawyer?"
Mike: "I doubt it. She dumped me today."
Susan: "What? Why?"
Mike: "Well, I was arrested for murder."
Susan: "Still. It's tacky."
Mike: "What are you trying to say?"
Edie: "Well, maybe we should just take a break. You know, date other people."
Mike: "You're telling me this on the day I'm put in a men's prison?"
Edie: "Well, I said the timing was bad. I am sorry. I... I really am. I just can't do this."
Edie: "I don't know if you picked up on this, Mike, but...I haven't been happy."
Mike: "No, I didn't pick up on it."
Edie: "Well, I wanted to tell you this weeks ago, and I wish that I had, because now I know you're gonna think that I'm breaking up with you over this whole blood on the ax thing."
Mike: "Wrench."
Edie: "Whatever."
Susan: "So I can't believe you caught me spraying for ants. I must look like a wreck."
Mike: "Actually, you look kinda sexy."
Susan: "You've gotta be kidding."
Mike: "No, the way you're taking charge, it's impressive."
Susan: "They're just ants, and they're tiny. Of course, they do outnumber me."
Susan: "You're always worried about Julie and me and you beat up my new boyfriend. And now you're protecting me from Edie. Do you know what all that means?"
Mike: "That you're high maintenance?"
Mike: "Felicia, why are you here?"
Felicia: "Young Zachary and I didn't exactly part on the best of terms. In fact, when the weather's damp, I'm still reminded of our last good-bye. But forgive and forget. That's my motto. Macaroon?"
Sophie: "Are you planning to pop the question?"
Mike: "Well, if she knows it’s coming, the question won’t really ‘pop’ now will it?"
Susan: "He’s right, mom. Oh, I want it to be just like you do. You know on your own terms and you get down on one knee and the whole production."
Mike: "That’s the plan."
Susan: "Well. Then I can wait. I can wait. I’m a good waiter."
Mike: "Technically, we don’t have to be casual anymore."
Susan: " I can be naked in 20 seconds! That includes travel time."
Susan: "Zach's your son, and, and I have Julie and you’ve totally accepted her. I mean, granted, she’s been the model child, so far, but she’s almost 15. She’s gonna turn on me any minute. You better be there to help me when it gets ugly."
Mike: "I will."
Mike: "You’re the one who said you wanted things to be casual between us."
Susan: "Yeah, but that doesn’t mean we have to act like brother and sister. I mean, you bought me ribs. I have gratitude to express."