Moe Syzlak Quotes
Moe: Wait, wait, wait! What about Apu? [A cat enters the room]
Apu's voice: Apu is dead! I was reincarnated as this cat! [Homer and Moe gasp. Then Apu enters the room as well]
Apu: [laughing] Wow, you have just been Apu'd!
Moe: Well, I'm just the bartender here, but it seems to me, you could win Lisa back by appealing to her sense of reason, and you can win your mom back by appealing to her feelings.
Bart: Gee, Moe, you give great advice!
Homer: Yeah, what have you done with the real Moe?
Patty: Calm down, everybody. Here's a movie of us.
(crowd boos as Patty and Selma show their home movie)
Moe: Wow, even I ain't hoping for porn.
Lenny: Ya know Moe, that sign is powered by non-American workers.
Moe: So? The beer is German and the TV is Japanese.
Carl: You got anything here made in America?
Moe (angrily gets out shotgun): This! (cocks the gun, but the back explodes in his face) Oh God! Misfire!
Moe: I didn't want the gold, so I just kept playing our song on the jukebox one...
Burns (reading letter): ...one gold coin at a time. (looks at jukebox) Oh, you poor man. You're about to get poorer.
# Moe: Fate gave me an awful dilemma — should I rob the guy or rob him and kill him?
• Vote for this Quote! • August 2nd, 2007Moe (retelling the story of his tragic romance with Edna): I was the happiest guy in the world, but fate likes to play a little game called 'Up Yours, Moe.'
• Vote for this Quote! • August 2nd, 2007Moe: Okay well I really enjoyed being you Dr. Hibbert, oh by the way you're not welcome in the library no more. I'm sorry.
• Rating 4.0 / 5 • Vote for this Quote! • August 2nd, 2007 Moe: Hey, Bob! How come you can't kill Bart? Killing a kid should be easy!
Lenny: If it was me, I'd just slash him open while he's sleeping.
Homer: Man, what a day. I'd kill for a beer.
Moe (nervously get him a beer): Uh, right away sir.
Homer: I'd stab for a pickle. (Moe swipes Lenny's pickle) Now, give me some peanuts!
Moe: Up, bup, bup. Ya didn't say ya'd kill me.
Homer: I'll kill you if you don't give me any peanuts.
Moe (does so): Right, I don't want any trouble.
