Moe Syzlak Quotes (Page 3)

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Moe Syzlak Photo

Homer: Damage report, Mr. Moe.
Moe: Sonar, out. Navigation, out. Radio, out.
Homer: Enough of what's out, what's in?
Moe: Ice-blended mocha drinks and David Schwimmer.
Homer: Yes, he is handsome in an ugly sort of way.

  • Vote for this Quote! • July 26th, 2007


Moe: (lights dim) We're losing power! (lights dim further) We're losing backup power! We're down to mood lighting here!

  • Vote for this Quote! • July 26th, 2007


Marge: Excuse me, Mr. Szyslak. Have you ever considered selling your home?
Moe: What? No. Why? What? Why? What have you heard? Are you implying I'm in some sort of financial trouble?
Marge: No.
Moe: Well, I am. Let me have that card.

  • Vote for this Quote! • July 25th, 2007


Moe: Gee, this hotrod is souped up six ways from Sunday. Never had you figured for a gearhead, Homer.
Homer: Oh, yeah. I'm a real expert.
Moe: [opens hood] What is that, a six-barrel holleykauf?
Homer: You betcha.
Moe: Pedel block intakes?
Homer: Nothin' but.
Moe: Miya half lifters?
Homer: Oh, yeah.
Moe: I made that last one up.
Homer: I see.

  • Vote for this Quote! • July 25th, 2007


Moe: [beating wooly mammoth with a baseball bat] Take that and that and-- (One of the tusks falls off and crushes him) Oh! I'm paralyzed. I just hope medical science can cure me.

  • Vote for this Quote! • July 25th, 2007



Moe: Well, it coulda been a real ugly situation, but, I managed to shoot him in the spine. I guess the next place he robs better have a ramp.

  • Rating 4.0 / 5Vote for this Quote! • July 25th, 2007


Moe: I need help here.
Grampa: [as a soul in a Love Tester] Tell her her rump's as big as the Queen's, and twice as fragrant.
Moe: ...Okay. [leaves, then comes back suddenly, covered in escargot] You are absolutely, positively, the dumbest haunted love tester that I have ever met!

  • Rating 5.0 / 5Vote for this Quote! • July 24th, 2007


Barney: Well, I gotta go. I got a date with the lady in front of the drug store who's always yelling things. [leaves]
Moe: She told me she was washing her hair tonight. [Sigh] I'm so desperately lonely.

  • Vote for this Quote! • July 24th, 2007


Moe: Cheer up, Homer. You still got that other kid, Lisa. We'll take her hunting and make her into a man.
Homer: She'll never go. She's a vegetarian.
Moe: Oh my god, Homer, you and Marge aren't really cousins, are you?

  • Rating 5.0 / 5Vote for this Quote! • July 24th, 2007


Moe: Where you been, Homer? The entire steel industry is gay. Eh, aerospace, too, and the railroads. And you know what else? Broadway.

  • Vote for this Quote! • July 24th, 2007


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Total Quotes: 47