Moe Syzlak Quotes (Page 5)
Homer: Hurry, Moe, hurry, I've only got five minutes 'til the music store closes.
Moe: Well, why don't you go there first?
Homer: Hey! Do I tell you how to do your job?
Moe: Sorry, Homer. [draws a mug of beer]
Homer: You know, if you tip the glass, there won't be so much foam on top.
Moe: Sorry, Homer.
Moe: Hello, Moe's Tavern. Birthplace of the Rob Roy.
Bart: Is Seymour there? Last name Butts.
Moe: Just a sec. Hey, is there a Butts here? A Seymour Butts? Hey everybody, I wanna Seymour Butts! Wait a minute... Listen, you little scum-sucking pus-bucket! When I get my hands on you, I'm gonna pull out your eyeballs with a corkscrew! (Bart and Lisa laugh)
Bart: [dials the phone] Aw, where's your sense of humor, man?
Moe: Moe's Tavern.
Bart: Hello, is Al there?
Moe: Al?
Bart: Yeah, Al. Last name: Coholic.
Moe: Lemme check... [to bar] Phone call for Al, Al Coholic! Is there an Al Coholic here? [bar denizens laugh] Wait a minute... [in phone] Listen, you yellow-bellied jackass, if I ever find out where you are, I'm gonna kill you!
Moe: Hey, you can level with me. You got a domestic situation?
Homer: You might say that. My wife's gonna leave me 'cause she thinks I'm a pig.
Moe: Homer...
Homer: What?
Moe: Marge is right. You are a pig. You can ask anyone in this bar.
Homer: What? Hey, Barney, am I a pig?
Barney: You're even more of a pig than I am. [belches]
Homer: Oh, no!
Moe: See? You're a pig. Barney's a pig. Larry's a pig. We're all pigs. Except for one difference: Once in a while, we can crawl out of the slop, hose ourselves off, and act like human beings.
Bart: Is Jock there?
Moe: Who?
Bart: Jock, last name Strap.
Moe: Hold on. [calling out] Jock Strap! Hey, guys, I'm looking for a Jock Strap!
Moe: Moe's Tavern.
Bart: Is Mr. Freely there?
Moe: Who?
Bart: Freely. First initials, I.P.
Moe: Hold on, I'll check. [To the patrons] Is I.P. Freely here? I.P. Freely?
Homer: You'll get that punk someday, Moe.
Moe: I don't know. He's tough to catch. He keeps changing his name.
Moe: I don't think you're ever going to get another job and be able to pay me back.
• Vote for this Quote! • March 22nd, 2007