Mr. Burns Quotes
Burns: Perhaps I can be of help?
Homer: Ahh! Where did you come from?
Burns: I'm your cell mate! You never noticed me before because you're extremely self centered!
Homer: Oh sorry, I wasn't listening, I was too busy checking out my reflection in this yellow water. [at reflection] Oh hoo hoo, lookin' good!
Homer: I'm so bored that I have figured out where the wallpaper pattern repeats. See it goes ships wheel, Popeye tattoo, Gilligan hat, fish with boobs and back to ships wheel.
Lisa: What about this swordfish?
Homer: Oh my life's work ruined!
Smithers: (after Mr. Burns emerges from a basket) Why did you make an entrance like that, sir?
Mr. Burns: I'm a showman!
Bart: So, Mr. Burns, you're saying my dad has gone insane, and thinks he's a god, and broken off all contact with the outside world?
Smithers: I told you Simpson was a poor choice, sir.
Mr. Burns: You know, Smithers, "I told you so" has a brother. His name is, "Shut the hell up"!
Moe: I didn't want the gold, so I just kept playing our song on the jukebox one...
Burns (reading letter): ...one gold coin at a time. (looks at jukebox) Oh, you poor man. You're about to get poorer.
Rich Texan: YEE-HAW! I'm gonna win me a nuclear plant!
Mr. Burns: Dream on, bitch.
Burns: I had to start up from the bottom to get my fortune back. And to get to the bottom, I had to work my way up from Moe's.
• Vote for this Quote! • August 2nd, 2007 Mr. Burns: You will work for me.
Homer: I already work for you.
Mr. Burns: Grow a spine on your own time, fatso. Now pie that Brownie, Fruitcake!
• Vote for this Quote! • August 2nd, 2007 Smithers: Why don't you just use your ATM card?
Burns: Ah, yes. The Automated Teller Machineyolamatrolamaton.
