Mr. Burns Quotes (Page 2)
Burns: Stroke! Stroke! Stroke!
Apu: I'm rowing as fast as I can, sir!
Burns: No! I'm having one!
Mr. Burns: I dont understand. She was my young sexy fiance and he was my sexually virile best friend and they just drove of in my boggarti sexxarrosa.
• Vote for this Quote! • July 29th, 2007Mr Burns:
Burns in a plane over the Caribbean: Any of these islands would make a fine new country.
Homer: I call president!
Burns: Vice president!
Smithers (disappointedly): Oooh...
Burns: Ooh... There's a big one, and it has freedom written all over it!
Smithers: Sir, that's Cuba.
Mr. Burns: Cuba, eh? Take her down, Smithers!
Smithers: Uh... You're flying the plane, sir.
Mr. Burns: Excellent.
Burns: (showing Homer the Burns Hall of Patriots) That man is my great grandfather, Franklin Jefferson Burns, tossing that tea without a care...for what the caffeine would do to the Fenway flounder.
Homer: Is that a fish?
Burns: It was.
Burns: Oh, you'll find this amusing. It's the suit Charlie Chaplin was buried in.
• Vote for this Quote! • July 26th, 2007 Mr. Burns: You see me as a god, right, Smithers?
Smithers: Absolutely, sir.
Mr. Burns: You'd kneel before me?
Smithers: Boy, would I!
Mr. Burns: Yes. Uh, then I'll form my own religion with its own symbol. We'll use this special K. [refers to the breakfast cereal of the same name; the K he draws is a replica of the logo on the cereal box]
Smithers: I believe that's already a breakfast cereal, sir.
Mr. Burns: And people worship it?
Smithers: In a way.
Lisa: [referring to the "angel"] It could be anything. It could be a mutant from the nuclear plant.
Mr. Burns: Oh, fiddle-faddle. Everyone knows our mutants have flippers. Ooh, oops. I've said too much. [clears throat]
[under his breath] Smithers, use the amnesia ray.
Smithers: You mean the revolver, sir?
Mr. Burns: Precisely. Be sure to wipe your own memory clear when you're finished.
Mr. Burns:(Mr. Burns takes down his self-portrait and approaches Bret) Uh, would it be all right if I kept this portrait? To remind me of better times?
Bret Hart Why would I want a picture of a pitiful pencil-neck GEEK?!
Mr. Burns Yes. Why indeed.
Mr. Burns: (checking his stocks) Ah, right where I left off September, 1929 ... oh... oh no... Smithers, why didn't you tell me about this market crash?!
Smithers: Um, well...sir, it happened twenty-five years before I was born.
Mr. Burns: Oh, that's your excuse for everything!