Nancy Botwin Quotes (Page 2)
Nancy: I don’t give a flying f**k if you do have cancer. Put your tits away in front of my kid.
Celia: Sorry. I took a lude.
Celia: I was thinking of going bigger.
Nancy: Bigger?
Celia: Really big. Like freak show big. 47 triple Fs. So large that other smaller breasts will want to orbit them.
Ms. Greenstein: All right, you asked for it, you get it. The lay of the land. Marijuana currently exists in the legal gray area, it’s not illegal to have weed, less than an ounce that is, but it’s illegal to buy it.
Nancy: What about growing?
Ms. Greenstein: Ah, botany. As long as it’s not broken down, non-specific weight, we’re talking a slap on the wrist, 3-5.
Nancy: Years?
Ms. Greenstein: Probation.
Nancy: So you can grow it, but you can’t break it down?
Ms. Greenstein: Not unless you wanna go to jail or flee to Mexico. Or Canada. Canada rocks. Primo weed, reeeaaalllly good Chinese food.
Nancy: Do you have a card? Because you never know in my business when you might need a lawyer.
Shane: I got sent to the school shrink. They’ll probably be calling you.
Nancy: Oh, not again, why this time.
Shane: I wrote a gangsta rap about killing Devon Rensler ... with my gatt.
Nancy: This is my business. This has nothing to do with you. Go downstairs, do what you do best. Patrol the couch in your underwear.
Andy: Look, this is different. This is my moment. I was born to cook drugs.
Andy: Yeah, I cook, you sell. Come on, Nanc. I don’t mind you being out there in front, I’m totally liberated. It’s me and you, babe, Team Botwin.
Nancy: Please leave.
Andy: I will, just as soon as you sign these papers. There’s no water in this tub!
Nancy: I can’t do this right now.
Andy: You have to. Doug says if you don’t hurry, they’re gonna put a vitamin store in there. And this town does not need more gingko biloba. It needs pot brownies. Come on, sign.
Andy: The way I see it is you’re in way over your head here. You got a house, you got bills, you’re a mommy. Dealing is a full time job. You need some help, Nancy Pants.
Nancy: Don’t call me pants. Judah called me pants, not you.
Andy: Hey, I miss him to, Nancy. Whatever you think about me, Judah was my brother. And I loved him. And I have your back.
Andy: Hey, pants.
Nancy: Please tell me I didn’t hear that you had cyber sex with a 15-year-old deaf girl.
Nancy: You’re the Candyman?
The “Candyman” : Yes, you getting any exercise?
Nancy: Excuse me?
The “Candyman” : If you’re not committed to personal fitness, I can’t in good conscience sell to you.
Nancy: I wouldn’t say Heylia’s in the best shape.
The “Candyman” : Heylia’s a lazy fat-fat and I’m hoping to put her into a diabetic coma. So I have no problem selling to her.
Nancy: Why?
The “Candyman” : To scare her. Some people never learn until their life is on the line.
Nancy: ... Not to mention the amount of s**t I’m going to get from those Hypo-Christian bitch moms I’m going to get tomorrow!
• Vote for this Quote! • August 27th, 2007
