Ned Flanders Quotes
Rod: Daddy, what are you doing?
Ned Flanders: Imploring people I never met to pressure government with better things to do to punish a man who meant no harm for something nobody even saw, that's what I'm doing!
Todd: Daddy, I think we need a new mommy.
Ned: One problem at a time!
Rod Flanders: I'm jealous of girls, because they get to wear dresses.
Ned Flanders: One problem at a time boy...
Ned: Hi giggly hey neighbor!
Homer: OH MY GOD THIS DUDE DOES THE BEST FLANDERS! You got the moustache, and the diddly.
Ned: Heh heh heh...Homer it's me, Ned Flanders.
Homer: Oh right, the God dude.
Ned: [reading] Harry Potter, and all his wizard friends, went straight to Hell for practicing witchcraft.
Todd: Yay! [Ned throws the book into the burning fireplace]
Ned: Son of a diddly!
• Vote for this Quote! • July 28th, 2007 Homer: I'm sure your wife is dating a lot of people in heaven!
Ned: Are you sure?
Homer: Positive, there's a lot of hot people up there. There's John Wayne, Sherlock Holmes-
Ned: Ah, now Sherlock Holmes is a character.
Homer: Oh he sure was! [does a sexy growl]
Todd: Daddy, what are taxes paying for?
Ned: Ohoho... everything! Policemen, trees, sunshine, and let's not forget the folks who just don't feel like working, God bless 'em!
Homer: Wow, honey. You sold a house and got rid of the Flanders. What's for dinner?
Ned Flanders: Well, neighboreenos, I guess this is good-bye. Oh, I better make this quick, or I'm gonna start blubbering like a baby.
Homer: [sarcastically and with a monotone voice] Yeah, me too. Let me know if you need any help.
Ned Flanders: Now that you mention it, we could use--
Homer: [monotone] It was just an expression.
Marge: The first house I have to show you is, um... a handyman's dream. [smiles half-heartedly and lets out an "Mm-hmm"] Because it's so dilapidated. [groans]
Ned Flanders: Well, nothing's perfect. I sure hate to make you come out here and not buy a house.
Maude Flanders: Now, slow down, Neddie. The home buyer's course said always look inside the house before buying.
(Front wall of the main part of the house falls down to reveal that this is where Lenny Leonard lives. The interior is also dilapidated and is mostly empty)
Marge: Well, there it is.
Lenny: Please don't tell anyone how I live.
Ned: What do we have hear? The long flabby arm of the law. The last case you got to the bottom of, was a case of mallamars!
Krusty: Mallamars! Thats going in the act.
Ned: Oh, yeah, the clown. The only one of you bafoons who doesn't make m laugh! And as for you! I don't know you but I'm sure you're a jerk!
Lenny: Hey I've only been here a few minutes whats going on?
Ned: (to moe) You ugly, hate-filled man!
Moe: Hey, Hey, I may be ugly and hate-filled, but I- uh what was the third thing you said?
Ned: (gently but angerly) Homer...you are the worst human being I have ever met...
Homer: Hey, I got off pretty easy...
