Paris Geller Quotes (Page 2)
Rory: It's "girls gone wild," and boys doing the twist. We're not spring-breaky people, are we?
Paris: I don't know what we are, but I am so cold right now that the thought of spending a week with a bunch of drunken bimbos and rattle-headed frat boys seems like a very good trade off for being warm.
Rory: Warm...
Paris: Warm...
Female Student: [Walking out of dorm] Is it raining?
Paris: No, it's National Baptism Day. Tie your tubes, idiot.
Rory: He's big, Paris. She got it.
Paris: And why does he have his name written on the back? So it's easy to check when he forgets it? Although if he checks it while he's wearing it, he'd have to look in a mirror, and then he'd probably think his name was Dlobeelk, and get confused all over again.
Janet: Bitter little woman.
Paris: I just don't want to walk into our bathroom and find him sitting on the john shooting up steroids.
Janet: He does not take steroids.
Paris: You mean that unsightly girth is nature given? He must curse God nightly.
Paris: Oh, good, you're all here, so we can clear this up. I found this lying around, and it must belong to one of you because who else would have clothing here? I ask you. [She holds up a shirt with the name Kleebold across the back.] Anyone? Anyone?
Janet: Paris.
Paris: Anyone? You know, maybe I misspoke. It may not be a shirt. Anyone lose a car cover? Anyone? Anyone?
Paris: I'm not denying that we've got a May-December romance going on here.
Rory: This is not May-December. This is May-Ming Dynasty.
Rory: No, I don't wanna know where you were, and I don't wanna know what you were doing or who you were doing it with. I had to cover for you when Doyle noticed that you were gone, so I told him that you were at a family thing, and as far as I'm concerned, that's where you were - at your family thing. And in the future, I want nothing to do with anything to do with what you were doing tonight or who you were doing it with, especially who! Now, go to sleep.
Paris: I smell like pipe tobacco.
Rory: Oh, jeez.
Richard: This roommate of mine in sophomore year - we absolutely hated him. He was, in addition to being a complete nincompoop, rather a chubby lad. So one night, we tied him in between two mattresses and threw him out the window.
Rory: What?
Paris: I'm writing that one down.
Rory: Was he okay?
Richard: Oh, he was fine. He went to sleep. He woke up in the morning and picked up right where he left off.
Rory: Man.
Richard: We wound up throwing him out the window every night for a month, and then he transferred.
Rory: Well, do you think you guys tossing him out the window on a regular basis had something to do with that decision?
Paris: You know, she talks to herself when she stretches. "Come on, Janet. Push it, Janet. Love the pain, Janet." It's pornographic
• Vote for this Quote! • October 18th, 2007 Paris: Relax, I'm okay with you making valedictorian over me.
Rory: Oh, good, thanks.
Paris: Sure. I actually googled the personal histories of Ivy League valedictorians going back 25 years, and found some enlightening statistics. They don't necessarily do too well in later life, did you know that?
Rory: No.
Paris: Oh, yeah. A lot of business failures, crumbled marriages, suicides, obesity.
Rory: Okay.
Paris: A bunch died in car crashes, several did time, one suffocated when his cat fell asleep on his face.
