Paris Geller Quotes (Page 3)
Paris: Unbutton your top.
Lorelai: What?
Paris: Teenage boys are controlled by one thing. Unbutton your top.
Lorelai: No.
Paris: Well, me doing it isn't going to help any.
Lorelai: Paris, you need to relax. You need to stop worrying. You need to stop obsessing. You need to stop looking at my boobs.
Paris: You know, it’s funny, me standing here before you right now. I’ve thought about nothing else for four years but this school, this big important school with all of its history and tradition and really super teachers. And I dedicated myself to it completely, heart and soul, believing in its power, believing in its ability to get me where I needed to go. Harvard. I thought of nothing else. Many of you out there can attest to that fact. I was on my way and nothing could stop me. And here’s the really funny thing – after four years of slaving away, I go home today and I found this. [holds up an envelope] I’m not going to Harvard. I got the tiny envelope, the one that reads, "Sorry, Paris. We’re not interested. Try again next year. Love, Harvard." And the thing that’s really funny here is, who in the world deserves to go to Harvard more than me? Have you seen how hard I’ve worked over these past four years? I mean, can anyone here believe that I’m not going to Harvard? I can’t. I’m not going to Harvard. I am not going to Harvard. I had sex, but I’m not going to Harvard.
• Vote for this Quote! • October 10th, 2007 Paris: And in regards to the student council meeting –
Rory: Oh, you mean the one where you tried to impeach me because you haven’t been properly diagnosed yet?
Paris: How many times do I have to tell them? You can’t put a two-inch ladle of gravy into a one-inch potato crater. You either need a smaller ladle or a bigger crater – otherwise, you get this.
Rory: Gravy on your asparagus.
Paris: Yes.
Rory: Paris, the cafeteria workers serve hundreds of students a day. A little gravy spillage is natural.
Paris: Oh. Well, by all means, Madeline, you should point out to the faculty that their annoying custom of teaching is distracting you from more important things like nail filing and daydreaming about marrying Ryan Phillippe.
• Vote for this Quote! • October 9th, 2007 Rory: Well, there’s this big event that’s happening in my town...
Paris: Pig race?
Rory: Dance marathon.
Paris: I was close.
Paris: For example, I can instantly deduce that when someone hears the name Paris in the same sentence with the word date, jaws will drop, confused looks will cover faces, words like ‘how' and ‘why' and ‘Quick, Bob, get the children in the minivan because the world is obviously coming to an end!' will immediately fly out of people's mouths.
• Vote for this Quote! • October 9th, 2007 Paris: What if I fall for him but he doesn't like me?
Rory: You'll find someone else.
Paris: What if there is no one else?
Rory: Then you'll buy some cats.
Paris: First, let me say that I'm glad to see you all here today, at the beginning of what I think is going to be a very exciting experiment.
• Vote for this Quote! • October 8th, 2007 Paris: We’re friends?
Rory: I’m not sure if there is an exact definition for what we are, but I do think it falls somewhere in the bizarro friends-ish realm. Come on, stay.
Paris: Okay. But if you’re doing all this so you can freeze my bra, I’ll kill you.
Rory: Duly noted.
