Perry Cox Quotes
Turk: Before Izzy was born, if I saw a half-eaten meatball sub in the trash you better believe I would dust that bad boy off and go to town on it! But now, I'm not risking my health eating trash-food. I mean, unless it's a corn dog.
Dr. Cox: Thank god you've procreated.
Intern: Dr. Cox!
Dr. Kelso: You might want to knock, he's in an imaginary glass bubble.
Dr. Cox: Okay, I made you breakfast, the kitchen's as clean as a whistle, I'm gonna drop Jack off at daycare on the way to work, is there anything else I can do for you?
Jordan: I need you to go to the video store and get me anything with Viggo Somethingsen. I need white chocolate, strawberry seltzer, peppercorn brie and a polaroid of the tomato plant that I planted last spring, because I'm worried it may have snails. Oh, and if you see that neighbor Lena from down the hall I want you to roll your eyes and say the word "slut", under your breath, but loud enough so she can hear, and don't forget to be home by 6:30 because you gotta give Jack his bath before you make my dinner!
Dr. Cox: But, when will I have time to kill myself?
Jordan: Well thats not my problem!
Dr. Cox: Move!
Carla: What's up your butt?
Laverne: Yeah, what is all up in there?
Dr. Cox: Why don't you hop aboard the "What's Up Dr. Cox's Butt Trolly" and we can begin our tour, coming up on the left is my bloated, bed ridden ex-wife that's not allowed to lift a finger, which, thankfully leaves it all up to these guys [Dr. Cox shows his hands]. Now, if you'll look to your right, you'll see my waning libido, my crushed soul and my very last nerve, which I would advise you not to get on, under or even close to.
Laverne: Does it help to know that Jesus loves you?
Dr. Cox: [Nodding] It does not.
Laverne: Well, everything happens for a reason.
Dr. Cox: Are you really trying to tell me that things like, New Orleans, AIDS, sugar free ice cream, crack babies, Hugh Jackman, and cancer all happen for a reason? Because I'm sorry, I'm-I'm just not buying that.
Laverne: "God works all things for good" - Romans 8:28.
Dr. Cox: "Bull Honky" - Perry Cox. 6'1. Buck eighty-five after lunch. [Winks]
Mrs. Miller: [to J.D.] Shut your cakehole Mary-Beth, or I swear to God I'll shut it soon!
Dr. Cox: Congratulations, we'll schedule your test this afternoon. [walks off, impressed]
Dr. Cox: I mega-loathe you all.
• Rating 5.0 / 5 • Vote for this Quote! • July 7th, 2007 Dr. Cox: Alright, who can tell me anything about Mr. Pierce?
Keith: He uses oil heaters at his house in New Hampshire
Dr. Cox: That answer was either very sarcastic or very stupid, either way I'm whacking you with my clipboard [holds clipboard up] brace yourself.
Keith: Wait, he's hypoxic with a clear chest x-ray which can be a sign of carbon monoxide poisoning. I learned that watching House.
Lisa: House is a genius!
Dr. Cox: ...that's it I'm whacking both of you [whacks both] look I know you all curl up on your futons at night dreaming of cracking a real-life medical mystery so that some doctor slash super model will want to touch your eruption button, but here's the bad news, this isn't a TV show, there aren't any cameras over here, real medical mysteries don't happen every week and doctors damn sure don't look like models, they look like Rex.
Rex: What?
Dr. Cox: Chin up ya ugly bastard. So if you want to solve a real mystery go ahead and figure out who is taking my New York Times every Sunday, or better yet how bout why anybody on the planet actually thinks Dane Cook is funny. As far as Mr. Pierce goes he has your run of the mill pulmonary embolism, and I know, I know it's a boring medical diagnosis but that's what hospitals are: boring.
Dr. Kelso:: What the hell's with her?
Dr. Cox:: She's mad, but she can't give me the "silent treatment", because she knows I'd actually love that. So she's giving me the "talk until I commit suicide treatment".
Dr. Kelso:: Sucks to be you.
Dr. Cox:: You have no idea. [Starts eating his newspaper]
Jack:: Daddy, what's that?
Dr. Cox:: That is the vagina of a 35 year old latina woman.
J.D: My Life is over.
Dr. Cox: Oh come on, you gotta focus on the positives. For instance the medical miracle that is one woman actually impregnating another woman. [smacks hands together] Sha-daisy!
Turk: Coincidentally, I have a cousin named Shadaisy.
