Perry Cox Quotes (Page 2)
Dr Cox: [Turns to the interns following him] OK that's it. This right here [draws line] is the get hit line. Cross it at your own risk.
Intern: When do you turn nice? This is getting kinda old.
Dr Cox: Never Lesley.
Lesley: He knows my name!
Dr Cox: [whistles] I was just calling you by a random girls name. Listen please, I don't care about any of your problems. I have no answers for any of you.
Gloria: But my boyfriend's bi-curious and he wants me to pick his lovers.
Dr Cox: I might have an answer for that. Eww. I mean come on children, what do you actually think is going to happen here? Do you think I'm going to take you, and sit you down next to me [sits Rex down next to him and puts an arm around him. JD walks in], and say um... Listen, if you need anything you've got my pager, just know that I'm there for you always.
JD: Oh. My. God!
Dr Cox: Newbie...
J.D.: Zip it! I am so gee darned pissed right now. I was okay when you kept me at arms length because everyone said that was just Cox, that's how he operates, and I believed them. Now I walk in on this, this... bi-racial love fest! You know what? I hate to do it but I'm giving you back the pencil. That's right, the pencil you gave me on my third day of work. You handed it off to me like a tiny yellow baton, but you were trying to say to me "JD you are the new me. You, JD, are my mentee. You, are my son."
Dr Cox: What pencil?
JD: Oh that's perfect. That's perfect. You know what? Take it. Maybe you can use it with Rex, or Gloria... or that guy.
Dr Cox: That guy's name is Lesley.
JD: His name is Lesley. His name is Lesley. Your name is Lesley. Alright, good for you Lesley. [Walks away before running back and tackling the intern] LESLEY!!!
Obnoxious Patient: You remind me of my bulldog.
Dr. Cox: As a doctor, I rarely root for the disease, but with you I find myself cheering, "Go hypercalcemia with underlying MEN syndrome. Go, go, go, go!
Obnoxious Patient: Do you drink out of the toilet? My bulldog drinks out of the toilet.
J.D.: [to Turk over walkie-talkies] Brown bear, are you nude right now?
Turk: Yeah! How did you know?
J.D.: Your voice is always higher when you're nude.
Turk: Hahaha. That's true!
Dr. Cox: [in the background] It's not weird that you know that.
Dr. Cox: Look at me and Jordan. Y'know how we hate everyone? Well, that goes double for children. It's true. They're loud, you can't understand them... They're like tiny cab drivers.
• Vote for this Quote! • July 5th, 2007 Dr. Cox: Hate to burst your bubble there, Barbie, but your endocrinology fellowship lasted all of five days. Granted, to you, five days may seem like an eternity seeing as it's roughly five times as long as any of your white, pasty relationships have lasted, but trust me, it hardly makes you an expert.
Elliot: Oh, really? Because you never went to assface school but you seem to be an expert at that.
[After J.D. is assigned to introduce Dr. Kelso at an awarding ceremony]
Dr. Cox: You are officially trapped.
J.D.: I'll just say something nice about him that's actually true.
Dr. Cox: You go do that, and I'll go find God, quit drinking, get in touch with myself emotionally, and we'll meet right back here at half past impossible, mm'kay?
Dr. Kelso: This Friday, I am receiving an award from the A.M.A.--
Dr. Cox: Jerk-Off of the Year. No, Bastard of the Year! Uh, don't you tell me! Guy I Despise So Much, I'd Pay Someone To Kill Ya and Stuff Ya and Leave Ya by my Bed, So That When I Wake Up in the Morning, I Could Roll Over and Punch You in the Face...of the Year.
Dr. Kelso: Aaand we're back.
Dr. Cox: SooOOOO LindsZOOO...It must be fun to have the same name as that Lindsay Lohan...She's super cool! between you, me and that IV i've seen Confessions of A Teenage Drama Queen, oh i don't know, 3,4,5,6,7,8,9 times [scoffs]
• Vote for this Quote! • July 3rd, 2007 Elliot: With all due respect, Dr. Cox, maybe I should talk to her.
Dr. Cox: With no due respect at all, why?
Elliot:Well she's a teenage girl, that's an awkward time. You know, your breasts are growing, not always symmetrically. Um, you like boys. Maybe one gives you a ride home, you think something's gonna happen but it doesn't and that just makes it official that you're a lop-sided freak. Happy ending though: lefty caught up in college.
Dr. Cox: Barbie! I have a finite amount of brain space and your inspiring story of the little breast who couldn't just pushed out my memory of the 1980 Olympic Hockey team's victory at Lake Placid. The Miracle on Ice, gone! Listen to me carefully, I know all about what it's like to be a teenage girl, wah wah wah. Course, I never had to try to convince my mother that I sure would have liked a navel ring.
Elliot: Oh well we were all going to Jamaica and my friend Susan...
[Cox immitates a trash compactor with his hands.]
Dr. Cox: Brain space.
Dr. Kelso: Okay, listen up, everyone. For budgetary reasons, we are turning the bathrooms on even-numbered floors into patients rooms. To sum up, floors two and four are no longer for one or two. Actually, there's still a bathroom on two, but then my joke wouldn't've worked.
Carla: And...?
Dr. Cox: I'm sorry, would you repeat the question?
Carla: Are you just gonna roll over like that?
Jordan: That's weird. I asked him the same last night.
Carla: Where's the outrage, the anger, the heat?
Jordan: Again! Last night!
Carla: You've gone soft.
Jordan: Okay, now it's just spooky!
