Peter Griffin Quotes (Page 34)
Lois: Have you been drinking?
Peter: Why, yes, I have. Thank you.
Peter: Beer that never goes flat. Do you know what that means, Brian? This beer will still be carbonated long after you die of old age and we buy another dog to help the kids ... y'know, forget about you.
• Vote for this Quote! • February 11th, 2007Lois: Oh, my God! You can only play the piano when you're drunk!
Peter: Now that's not true! I can also vomit, fall down and make dirty calls to your sister when I'm drunk!
Lois: You're drunk again.
Peter: No, I'm just exhausted 'cause I've been up all night drinking.
Peter: See, Meg, things always work out if you just do whatever you want without thinking about the consequences.
• Vote for this Quote! • February 11th, 2007Peter: You know that whole Vietnam thing? Never happened.
Brian: Oh yeah, but don't mention it around the Veterans Hospital. Those guys are really committed to the lie.
Peter: Gays don't vommit. They're a very clean people. And they have been ever since they came to this country from France.
• Vote for this Quote! • February 11th, 2007Bartender: You still owe me for the other rounds, which comes to 50 bucks.
Peter: I'm a foreign diplomat. I don't pay for drinks. Do you think G. Gordon Liddy paid for his drinks while he was strangling people with piano wire for the good of our nation?
Peter (while digging a hole for a pool): Kids, promise me you won't go swimming without a lifeguard. It's my duty as a parent to make sure you're safe.....hehehehehe....doody.....hehehehe....diarrhea. Hey, Lois....diarrhea."
Lois: Oh Peter, I'm carrying iced tea.
Chris: Dad, I tried to go to school but this guy won't let me.
Peter: Oh yeah? Him and what army?
Chris: The U.S. Army.
Peter: Oh, that's a good army.
