Peter Griffin Quotes (Page 6)
Lois Griffin: Peter, you promised you'd come with me to see Autumn's Piano. Besides, you owe me big after the way you embarrassed me in front of Sandra Oh.
[cut away]
Lois Griffin: Oh my god, Sandra Oh, we loved you in Sideways.
Sandra Oh: Thank you.
Peter Griffin: WE SEE YOU, IN MANY MOVIES. I THINK ABOUT YOU, WHILE HAVING SEX WITH MY WIFE. I THANK YOU WITH ONE DOLLAR. [turns to Lois] That's a lot of money to them.
[after sex]
Peter Griffin: Oh, that was fantastic. Hey, where'd you get that tattoo on your lower back?
Lois Griffin: I don't know, Peter. Meth is a hell of a drug.
Peter Griffin: What?
Brian Griffin: Hey, my sandwich tastes funny. Is there something wrong with the Smuckers?
Peter Griffin: Yeah, it's been on my crotch!!!
Lois Griffin: All right, Peter, you ready for role-playing night? Here comes Grimace! [Lois is dressed in a Grimace costume] Ya got some hamburgers I can steal, huh?
Peter Griffin: Lois, the Hamburglar steals hamburgers. Grimace is Ronald McDonald's autistic friend.
Peter Griffin: From now on, I too will be "obstinent".
Meg Griffin: Abstinent.
Peter Griffin: Absent.
Meg Griffin: Abstinent.
Peter Griffin: You're grounded.
Peter Griffin [reading Meg's sex pamphlet]: "If you have sex, your penis will fall off and land in another dimension populated entirely by dogs who will eat it." Well, that's something I'd like to avoid. Well, this changes everything!
• Vote for this Quote! • July 24th, 2007 Peter Griffin: Ah! Ow! Damn it!
Lois Griffin: Peter, are you all right?
Peter Griffin: No, no, I think you should call somebody.
Brian Griffin: Ma'am, are you all right?
Backup Dancer: I can't... breathe.
Brian Griffin: Oh, God, I think she punctured a lung.
Peter Griffin: Ah, damn it, look at my foot. It's already starting to swell up. God, I'm looking forward to this week. Freakin' swelled foot all week.
Stewie Griffin [to camera]: You know, we should... we should, you should, probably go ahead and shut that off.
Lois Griffin: What the hell? Marilyn Manson? Is that who's causing all this?
Peter Griffin: Yeah, it's all him or her's fault. Who does he or she think he or she is? Look, you can totally see his or her nipples. That's obscene, maybe.
Lois Griffin: There's only one thing to do.
Peter Griffin: You're right. We got to find this Marilyn Manson and I got to give that bastard or bitch a piece of my mind or penis.
Brian Griffin: It's just wrong for the military to mess with kids' minds. They're all gonna wind up in therapy, like Peter was.
[cut to Dr. Katz's office; Peter is on the couch]
Peter Griffin: Every time my daughter opens her mouth, I just wanna punch her in the face, she's really annoying.
Dr. Katz: Uh-huh, all right, let's explore that.
Peter Griffin: What the hell's wrong with you? Your skin's, like, moving around or something.
Dr. Katz: I believe I'm having some sort of seizure.
Lois Griffin: Chris, you can't join the Army, you're too young. Besides, the Army's weak. Now the Marines... those are the men you wanna f**k.
Peter Griffin: Are you kidding, Lois? The army's great! You get to save money for college, there's free food, and all the brown people you can rape.
