Peter Griffin Quotes (Page 8)
Peter Griffin: And to think I actually thought you raped me.
Dr. Hartman: Well, I was going to, but you ran out of the room!
Joe Swanson: Peter, you're urinating unusually frequently.
Glenn Quagmire: Yeah, what gives?
Seamus: If it's gale-force peeing ye be doin' it could mean you've got barnacles on your prostate. Best have sick bay check below your decks.
Peter Griffin: Wait a minute. A-are you telling me I need a prostate exam?
Seamus: Aye. And soon before your rudder jams with flotsam and you're dropping anchor without an order from the captain. How are you liking all these nautical puns?
Joe Swanson: Cute.
Glenn Quagmire: Not bad.
Cleveland Brown: Somewhat entertaining.
Peter Griffin: My God, we've all been victims of Dr. Hartman's "prostate exam." Well, gentleman, the abuse stops here. I will not turn a brown eye to this. I am gonna sue that bastard and make him pay out the ass. No ifs, ands, or buts. I'm gonna be really anal about this. [pause] ... Sphincter.
• Vote for this Quote! • July 24th, 2007 Peter Griffin: Guys, I went to Dr. Hartman yesterday and... he did things to my fanny! [cries]
Cleveland Brown: Peter, It's okay.
Peter Griffin: It's not okay! You don't know what it's like!
Cleveland Brown: You're wrong. I too have felt the cold finger of injustice on my insidey parts!.
Peter Griffin: He... he did it to you, too?
Glenn Quagmire: I have something to say. Dr. Hartman violated me as well. I only went in there for a physical - guinea pig removal, but I turned out to be the guinea pig - for his sexual experimentation!
Joe Swanson: You guys are a bunch of queers.
Lois Griffin: Peter, my God, you look terrible. What happened?
Peter Griffin: I was raped.
Lois Griffin: What?
Peter Griffin: Dr. Hartman violated me. He took my innocence.
Lois Griffin: W-What?
Peter Griffin [whispers something]
Lois Griffin: Peter, that's a prostate exam. It's an important part of a physical for men your age.
Peter Griffin: YOU SOUND JUST LIKE HIM!
Lois Griffin: F**king idiot.
Peter Griffin: So, how's this work? You just feel my pulse, or-AAAAAAAHHHHHH! WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT!?
Dr. Hartman: Mr. Griffin, that's a prostate exam.
Peter Griffin: Shut up, you had your finger in my ass!
Dr. Hartman: That's how a prostate exam is performed. Now if you'll just let me-
Peter Griffin: GET AWAY FROM ME!
Dr. Hartman: Well, you're 42 years old, and it says here you've never had a prostate exam!
Peter Griffin: No, but I've had other exams. Like that one in college.
[cut to Peter in college]
Peter Griffin: Damn it, this is too hard! Here's what I think of your test, Mr. Teacher! [walks up to his teacher, rips the test paper in half, rubs it against his butt and throws it on the floor]
Teacher: You just stood up to me. Congratulations. That was the test.
Peter Griffin: YEAH!!!!!!!!!!
Peter Griffin: What? I thought you could just go in the suit. You know, like the astronauts.
[cut to Quahog Fire Station No. 5. A man holds up a fireman suit with another wet spot on the crotch]
Peter Griffin: What? I thought you could just go in the suit. You know, like the astronauts.
[cut to Outer Space, where Peter and another man are floating]
Peter Griffin: Hey, uh, I gotta take a leak.
Man: Peter, if you open that suit, you'll die.
Peter Griffin: Right, right. What are you trying to do, get me fired?
Lois Griffin: We gotta get those kids out of the house once in a while. I mean, shouldn't they be dating?
Peter Griffin: Ah, that doesn't solve the problem, Lois. If they start dating, I mean, their-their rooms are right next to each other. They'll start having sex, we'll never get them out of the house, and--
Lois Griffin: No-no-no, you idiot, I'm talking about them dating other people.
Lois Griffin: [role playing] Oh! Help, Spider-Man! I'm being attacked by the evil rose bush!
Peter Griffin: Oh, I'll save you, Mary Jane!
Meg Griffin: Oh my God!
Chris Griffin: I don't know what they're fighting about, but I think Dad's winning. GO, DAD!
Lois Griffin: Kids, can we have some privacy, please?
Peter Griffin: Yeah, you guys are more annoying than that announcer on those TV commercials.
[cut away]
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