Phoebe Buffay Quotes

Phoebe: Oh, my God! This is like 60 Minutes, when at first you're really mad at that pharmaceutical company for making the drug and then, you know, you just feel bad for the people because they needed to make their hair grow.

  • Rating 1.3 / 5Vote for this Quote! • August 9th, 2007


Phoebe: [singing] Smelly cat, smelly cat, what are they feeding you? Smelly cat, smelly cat, it's not your fault. They won't take you to the vet, you're obviously not their favorite pet. You may not be a bed of roses, and you're no friend to those with noses.

  • Rating 4.8 / 5Vote for this Quote! • August 9th, 2007


Trudie Styler: Look, I've just pressed a button triggering a silent alarm. Any minute now, the police will be here.
Phoebe: The Police, here? A reunion?

  • Vote for this Quote! • August 9th, 2007


Phoebe: Yes, you can. Sting says so himself.
Ross: What?
Phoebe: [singing to "Roxanne"] Ross can!
Ross: Look, Phoebe, I'm sorry. It's just—
Phoebe: [singing] ROSS CAN!
Ross: Phoebe, I—
Phoebe: [singing] ROSS CAN! GET ME THE TICKETS!

  • Vote for this Quote! • August 9th, 2007


Phoebe: How can you let him talk to your crotch like that?
Rachel: He's talking to the baby.
Phoebe: Ohhh! Okay! Okay, 'cause when- when he said "I can't wait to hear your first words", I thought, there's a trick!

  • Vote for this Quote! • August 9th, 2007



Monica: Also, just so you know, I'm not making a turkey this year.
Joey: What?
Monica: Well, Phoebe doesn't eat turkey...
Joey: Phoebe!
Phoebe: Turkeys are beautiful, intelligent animals.
Joey: No, they're not! They're ugly and stupid and delicious!

  • Rating 5.0 / 5Vote for this Quote! • August 9th, 2007


Phoebe: Neslay Toulouse.
Monica: Nestle Toll House?
Phoebe: You Americans always butcher the French language.

  • Vote for this Quote! • August 8th, 2007


Phoebe: You know I think my grandmother would be proud that we're trying to figure out her recipe. I'm sure she's looking up at us and smiling.
Ross: Looking up?
Phoebe: Oh yeah! She was nice to me, but she's in hell for sure.

  • Vote for this Quote! • August 8th, 2007


Rachel: I wish I could get him to open up a little bit, share some feelings.
Phoebe: That's easy! You just have to think of him as a-as a jar of pickles that won't open.
Rachel: So what are you saying; I should run him under hot water and bang his head against a table?
Phoebe: No, that's what you do when you want to get the truth out of someone.

  • Vote for this Quote! • August 8th, 2007


Monica: You know, it's such a surprise to see Ross here at this time of day, as he's normally at the children's hospital.
Phoebe: But not looking for dates!

  • Rating 2.0 / 5Vote for this Quote! • August 8th, 2007


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Total Quotes: 50