Phoebe Buffay Quotes (Page 2)
Phoebe: I didn't know Playboy prints jokes.
Ross: Yeah, they print jokes, interviews, hard-hitting journalism. It's not just about the pictures!
Monica: It didn't work on mom, it's not going to work on us.
Phoebe: No, ‘cause she didn't tell me I was gonna die until the very end of the session, and I was not going to waste a whole another hour there! I mean I've only got a week left, you know? I've really got to start living now! [Picks up a car magazine and reads it]
• Vote for this Quote! • August 8th, 2007Phoebe: Ninety percent of a women's pheromones come out the top of her head! That's why women are shorter. So that men will fall in love when they hug them! [Ross is staring at Phoebe] Oh come on Ross, you're a scientist.
• Rating 5.0 / 5 • Vote for this Quote! • August 8th, 2007 Ross: Look, I just don't want my tombstone to read, "Ross Geller: Three divorces."
Phoebe: Don't feel worried about that! Your tombstone can say whatever you want it to say! It could say, "Ross Geller: Good at marriage!" Y'know? Mine's going to say, "Phoebe Buffay: Buried alive."
Ross: Okay, I know what you guys are going to say.
Phoebe: You two would have very hairy children.
Ross: I didn't know you were going to say that.
Phoebe: You're questioning my methods.
Joey: I'm not questioning it, Phoebe, I'm saying it's stupid.
Ross: I am going to make myself happy.
Chandler: Do you want us to leave the room?
Ross: I am going to do one thing that I have never done before. That, my friends, is my New Year's resolution.
Phoebe: Ohh... that's a good one. Mine is to pilot a commercial jet.
Chandler: That's a good one too, Pheebs. Now all you have to find is a plane load of people whose New Year's resolution is to plummet to their deaths.
Phoebe: So, here you are! Gosh — seems like yesterday I was talking to you in that little Petri dish. Everyone said labor was the hardest thing I'd ever have to do, but they were wrong — this is. Well, I had the most fun with you guys. And I wish I could take you home and see you everyday, but… Okay, I'll settle for being your favorite aunt. I know Alice's sister has a pool, but you lived in me. Okay, so we're cool. Yeah, we're gonna be great. Little high-fives!
• Vote for this Quote! • August 7th, 2007 Phoebe: You guys, you really should get rid of those animals. They shouldn't be living in an apartment.
Rachel: Yeah! Especially not with all these knives and cookbooks around…
Phoebe: Yeah, but Monica, do you really want to be in a relationship where you can actually use the phrase "That's not how your dad used to do it"?
• Vote for this Quote! • August 7th, 2007
