Principal Skinner Quotes (Page 2)
Principal Skinner: Welcome kindergarteners. I'm Principal Sinner--sst--Skinner. [the children laugh] Well that's it, I've lost them forever.
• Rating 2.3 / 5 • Vote for this Quote! • July 25th, 2007Skinner: The judge offered me a choice: jail, the army, or apologize to the judge and old lady. Of course, if I knew there was a war going on, I probably would have apologized.
• Vote for this Quote! • July 25th, 2007 Skinner: From now on, you'll see a new Seymour Skinner!
Agnes: Oh, no; we won't!
Skinner: Yes, Mother.
Skinner: (After receiving the recycling money) 32 cents! But that won't even cover the gas that I used to go to the store to buy the twine to tie up the bundles!
Recycling Hippie: Sounds like you're working for your car. Simplify...man...
Skinner: [Looking at political buttons at C**kamamie's] Hmm. These campaign buttons are all partisan. Don’t you have any neutral ones? "May the better man win," "Let's have a good, clean election," that sort of thing?
Cashier: Uh... no, but we do have some old shirt buttons. They’re kind of kooky and fun.
Skinner: Missy, you have just talked yourself right out of a sale!
Skinner: [while searching each child's locker for Superintendent Chalmers' missing hood ornament] Oh, you think this stolen "H" is a laugh riot, don't you? Well, I'll tell you something that's not so funny. Right now, Superintendent Chalmers is at home crying like a little girl!
[The kids all break out into laughter.]
Skinner: I guess it is a little funny [chuckles].
Skinner: Ah, there's no justice like angry mob justice.
Lenny: I'm gonna burn all the historical memorabilia.
Moe: I'm gonna bag me a toilet!
Willie: Agh, there'd better be two!
Homer: [ringing bell] Hear ye, hear ye! Ye olde town crier proclaimed crappy by all! Chooseth Homer Simpson, and he shalt rock thy world!
Chief Wiggum: My God, he is fabulous!
Principal Skinner: He's embiggened that role with his cromulent performance.
Lisa: They can't seriously expect us to swallow that tripe.
Skinner: Now as a special treat courtesy of our friends at the Meat Council, please help yourself to this tripe. (Class cheers and runs to table loaded with tripe)
Lisa: Stop it, Stop IT! Don't you realize you've just been brainwashed by corporate propaganda?
Janie: Hmmph, apparently my crazy friend here hasn't heard of the food chain.
Uter: Yeah, Lisa's a grade A moron!
Ralph: When I grow up, I'm going to go to Bovine University.
Edna Krabappel: I don't care what you say, I can taste the newspaper!
Principal Skinner: Posh. Shredded newspapers add much needed roughage and essential inks. Besides, you didn't notice the old gym mats.
Lunchlady Doris: [shoving a gym mat into a meat grinder] There's very little meat in these gym mats.