Rachel Green Quotes
Rachel: Do you guys have to go to the new house right away, or do you have some time?
Monica: We've got some time.
Rachel: Okay. Should we get some coffee?
Chandler: Sure. [pause] Where?
Rachel: But do you think that maybe, on some level, you don't want to take off my bra?
Joey: No, I don't have another level.
Rachel: Are you saying that women can't do it?
Joey: Women can do it; you can't.
Rachel: Monica, will you please tell Joey that he's a pig?
Monica: [to Joey] You're a pig. [to Rachel] You can't do it.
Rachel: Well, I found the hardware store by myself!
Joey: The hardware store's just down the street.
Rachel: [pause] There's a hardware store down the street?
Rachel: Is the window open? Because if the window's open, a bird could fly in there and...
Ross: Oh my God, you know what, I think you're right! I think, you know what, listen, listen... a pigeon... no, no, wait, an eagle flew in, landed on the stove, and caught fire! The baby, seeing this, jumps across the apartment to the mighty bird's aid! The eagle, however, misconstrues this as an act of aggression, and grabs the baby in it's talon! Meanwhile, the faucet fills the apartment with water! Baby and bird, still ablaze, are locked in a death-grip, swirling around the whirlpool that fills the apartment!
Rachel: Boy are you gonna be sorry if that's true..
Rachel: Oh no! What if she jumps out of the crib!
Ross: Can't hold her own head up, but yeah, jumped.
Rachel: Oh my God! I left the water running!
Ross: Rachel, relax. You did not leave the faucet running.
Rachel: Did I leave the stove on?
Ross: You haven't cooked since 1996!
Ross: You're fast and irresponsible. That adds up to a bad driver.
Rachel: Well, in high school, that added up to head cheerleader.
Rachel: Come on, Rosita. He doesn't know what he's talking about. Us chicas gotta stick together.
[She attempts to move "Rosita" and ends up breaking the back off.]
Rachel: You bitch.
Joey: What are you doin'?
Rachel: Moving a chair, so I can have a place to sit?
Joey: No, no, Rosita, does not move.
Rachel: As in, what...?
Joey: As in, Rosita does not move!
Rachel: Why not?!
Joey: 'Cause she is in the equal distance from the kitchen to the bathroom and she is at the perfect angle so that no glare is comin' off Stevie...
Rachel: Stevie the TV?
Joey: Is there a problem?!
Joey: The question, Rachel, is this: does he like you? Otherwise, it's just a moo point.
Rachel: A moo point?
Joey: You know, like a cow's opinion. It doesn't matter. It's moo.
Rachel: Have I been living with him too long, or did all that just make sense?
Monica: I know of two sure-fire ways to shut a man up. And one of them is sex.
Rachel: What's the other one?
Monica: I don't know. I've never had to use the other one.
