Rochelle Rock Quotes
Narrator: My father thought he could fix anything with Krazy Glue or duct tape.
Rochelle: What you doin'?
Julius: Fixin' the table. All done.
Rochelle: Julius! Did you fix that flat tire?
Julius: Good as new.
Rochelle: Did you fix that noise yet?
Julius: Quiet as a mouse.
Rochelle: Are you done?
Julius: Yeah. Why?
Rochelle: 'Cause as far as I'm concerned, this time is next time.
Narrator: Number 3!!!
Rochelle: You know what? I'm gonna change your name from Chrissy the Black to Chrissy the Black and Blue.
• Vote for this Quote! • October 3rd, 2007 Rochelle: I don't want you foolin' around with no black magic. You hear me? I don't wanna come home and see no pentagrams and dead goats and chickens and stuff like that. Only good, clean, white magic. You hear me?
Narrator: Why not compromise and do Puerto Rican magic?
Woman #1: My boy is a football player. He just got a scholarship to Rutgers!
Woman #2: My daughter is a doctor. She just finished her first open-heart surgery.
Rochelle: And my son is a magician, and he just made Bed-Stuy disappear! [outside, a barren desert is shown]
Pam: You better tell him to bring it back, 'cause I'm closin' at 9.
Rochelle: Your credit card. Be a man about it, Julius! It's got your name on it! Oh, and you know what else it says, Julius? It says "card holder since 1970." That means that for 15 years, you've been hidin' this from me!
• Vote for this Quote! • October 3rd, 2007 Julius: [about his credit card] Rochelle, I couldn't tell you about it.
Rochelle: Why not? Do you know how many times we could've used it?
Julius: That's why I couldn't tell you about it. I didn't want another bill, baby.
Rochelle: Oh. OK, Mr. "Responsibility," Mr. Fiscally Conservative, Dr. Jekyll and Mr. HIDE THINGS FROM HIS WIFE, answer this for me: Since you're so against credit cards, why do you have one?
Rochelle: You been hidin' a credit card, what else are you hidin'? Is Julius really your name? Oh, maybe you're the Green River Killer? Do you know where Jimmy Hoffa is buried? Who shot Kennedy? For all I know, you could be Batman!
Julius: I am not Batman.
[Julius is then seen dressed as Batman]
Julius: I'm Batman.
Illiterate Boy: It was the beast of times. It was the roast of times.
Rochelle: I mean, my God, boy, did you eat a bowl of lead paint for breakfast? Go on and sit down and let one of these other illiterates take a crack at it.
Rochelle: Who you gonna call?
• Vote for this Quote! • October 3rd, 2007
