Rory Gilmore Quotes (Page 11)
Lorelai: Um, help the guests with the kids, make sure they're not freaked out. Gather them up and entertain them for awhile so the adults can catch their breath.
Rory: Right. I have never entertained kids – how do I do that?
Lorelai: Uh, take your socks off and do a puppet show.
Rory: You've clearly never entertained kids either.
Lorelai: Oh, mime. That reminds me – Yale, best drama school bar none. Put that in the pro column.
Rory: I'm not taking drama.
Lorelai: No, but it means you'll have the best on-campus productions. You'll get to see the next Meryl Streep all goofy and 18 and doing crap like, "Hey, name an occupation!" "Plumber!" "Name a farm tool now!" "Tractor!" "Hey, I'm a tractor doing ... plumbing."
Rory: Mom's a little crabby this morning.
Lorelai: I am not crabby. I'm very very ill.
Rory: With allergies.
Lorelai: Deadly allergies.
Rory: Sorry, I didn't mean to minimize your condition. Shall we make funeral arrangements now?
Lorelai: Yes, and make sure you get your money back if these pills work.
Rory: Where did you get these?
Lorelai: Found them in your room.
Rory: These expired in 1998.
Lorelai: So... What I should take, four then?
Rory: It’s nothing, it’s just Paris. There’s this speech contest for the bicentennial, and I wasn’t even going to enter it, but I don’t know – with the whole ‘it’s my last chance to crush you before graduation’ comment, I want to enter, I want to win, and I wanna dance around her saying ‘I win, I win, I win!’
Lorelai: Wow, you’re getting more and more like me everyday.
Rory: Your mom loves Dave?
Lane: She said he’s a righteous young man who’s proven he can be trusted around antique furniture. In her book, that’s pretty close to love.
Lane: What do you mean? He’s jealous. Oh my God, he’s jealous, that’s so great.
Rory: You’ve worked your womanly wiles on him, Lane Kim.
Lane: I’ve never made a guy jealous before. I feel so powerful.
Rory: Just remember, there’s cute jealous and there’s Othello.
Rory: If I had known sports were so much about eating, I would’ve come to a lot more of these.
Lane: I know. There’s something deeply satisfying about watching other people exercise while eating junk food.
Lorelai: It’ll be fun. There’ll be cheerleaders and clowns, people doing the wave.
Rory: You have no idea what a hockey game is, do you?
Lorelai: Okay, for starters, I think you have to realize something – you were really lucky with Dean. He was an exceptional first boyfriend, and you got spoiled. Most of us didn’t have first boyfriends like Dean. Most of us had first boyfriends like Brian Hutchins.
Rory: Brian Hutchins?
Lorelai: Seventh grade, I’m sitting in the library, walks up, asks me to go steady. I say yes. He walks away and I don’t see him again until the tenth grade when he tries to sell me a dimebag at the Sadies Hawkins Day dance. And he was way overcharging for it, too.
Rory: That’s demented.
Lorelai: Well, that’s what most of us had to put up with. Where do you think the Susan Faludi’s of the world came from?
Rory: We need a signal.
Lorelai: A kissing signal?
Rory: Something to avoid this.
Lorelai: Okay, um, how ‘bout I shoot off a flare when I’m outside necking with a boy?
Rory: You know what I mean.
Lorelai: Or I could bang on the door and yell, "Hey, we’re necking out here!"
Rory: I still say we need a signal.
