Ross Geller Quotes (Page 2)
Elizabeth: What's wrong?
Ross: I'm sorry, I was just thinking about your father.
Elizabeth: Okay... well whatever works for you.
Ross: Alright, a joke, lighten the mood. Two guys walk into a bar, and one of them is Irish.
Paul: I'm Irish.
Ross (hesitantly): ...And the Irish guy wins the joke.
Ross: Unagi... I'm always aware.
Chandler: Okay. Are you aware that unagi is an eel?
Ross: I studied ka-ra-tae for a long time and there's a concept you should really be familiar with. It's what the Japanese call unagi.
Rachel: Isn't that a kind of sushi?
Ross: No, it's a concep—
Phoebe: Yeah, it is, it is. It's fresh water eel.
Ross: Okay, maybe it means that too.
Rachel: Oh, I would kill for a salmon skin roll right now.
Phoebe: I didn't know Playboy prints jokes.
Ross: Yeah, they print jokes, interviews, hard-hitting journalism. It's not just about the pictures!
Monica: It didn't work on mom, it's not going to work on us.
Ross: And that's the story of the dreidle. Now, some people trace the Christmas tree back to the Egyptians, who used to bring green palm branches into their huts on the shortest day of the year, symbolising life's triumph over death. And that was like four thousand years ago.
Rachel: So, pretty much around the same time that you started telling this story.
Ross: Look, I just don't want my tombstone to read, "Ross Geller: Three divorces."
Phoebe: Don't feel worried about that! Your tombstone can say whatever you want it to say! It could say, "Ross Geller: Good at marriage!" Y'know? Mine's going to say, "Phoebe Buffay: Buried alive."
Rachel: I brought reinforcements.
Ross: You brought Joey?
Rachel: Um.. no, but I brought the next best thing.
[Chandler walks in.]
Chandler': Hey.
Ross: Chandler? You brought Chandler? The next best thing would have been Monica!
Chandler: Normally, I'd be offended, but she is freakishly strong.
Ross: Okay, I know what you guys are going to say.
Phoebe: You two would have very hairy children.
Ross: I didn't know you were going to say that.
Ross: Y'know what? I'm gonna go out on a limb and say, no divorces in '99!
Rachel: But your divorce isn't even final yet.
Ross: Just the one divorce in '99!