Stan Quotes (Page 3)
Stan: I am sorry that I killed your mom but the squirrel told me that she was evil.
Mountain Lion Cub: You got tricked by a squirrel? Gee, you are not too smart, are you mister?
Stan: Goddamn, that took a long time.
Kyle: It would have been faster if Cartman hadn't slashed the tires.
Cartman: I DID NOT. I wanna close Wall-Mart just as much as you guys do.
Stan: Jesus Christ…Dad?!
Randy: Stan?
Stan: Dad, oh my God!
Randy: Stan.
Stan: What, Dad, are you dying?
Randy: No, I'm just really really tired. I was shopping at Wall-Mart all night.
Gooback: (with difficulty) Er, this? (points to the chicken sandwich sign)
Stan: No, not a chicken sandwich! I WANT A GODDAMN CHEESEBURGER AND SOME GODDAMN FRIES, YOU FUCKING GOOBACKS!
Cartman: Mr Jefferson, I wish I could be around you all the time. You're awesome.
Mr. Jefferson: I think you're awesome too, Cartman.
Cartman: Yeah?
Mr. Jefferson: Yeah.
Cartman: Yeah?
Mr. Jefferson: Yeah.
Cartman: Yeah? (they move in for a kiss)
Stan: (waking up) AAAAGGGGHHHH!! (looks round to see Cartman asleep and facing the ceiling and not Mr. Jefferson)
Mr. Jefferson: (opens his eyes) What's the matter, Stan? You have a bad dream?
Stan: Yeah, a REALLY bad dream. (shuts his eyes) Oh Jesus...
Stan: But that isn't the point, Butters, the point is that this is NOW! It's on, and there are people who need you to step up. Look, nobody likes having to rise to a challenge, but competing against other people and getting in their faces (points at Butters) and saying "Ha ha, I'm better than you" is part of life. And if you can't face that, then you might as well sit here playing with lego until you're an old man.
Butters: (dangerously) Get out of my room, Stan.
Stan (moving to the door) fine. (opens the door) But one day you're gonna have to stop running from what happened and deal with it, otherwise (points to Butters) you might as well move to France with all the other pussies. (leaves Butters's room. Butters tries to continue with his lego, but gets frustrated and slams it onto his floor in a temper).
Stan: Hey kid, you're pretty good. How would you like to join our dance troupe?
Yao: You mean dancing with out a machine telling you what to do?
Stan: Yeah.
Yao: That's stupid.
Stan: Thats really, really, terrible dude!
Cartman: Terrible?! Whatever. You guys just don't have brains that can compute complex plans like mine!
Craig: Oh, s**t. You guys are in trouble. We're out of here!
Stan: No, dude! You gotta help us find him!
Craig: To hell with that!
Cartman: We're in this together, Craig!! If Butters tells on us, we're gonna tell on you; that's the ninja code!
Bebe: Wendy breaks up.
Stan: What?
Bebe: Wendy breaks up with you.
Stan: Whoa, whoa, wait a minute! What did I do wrong? I haven't even talked to Wendy for weeks!
