Stan Quotes (Page 9)
Stan: Yeah Cartman, you suck! If you want to play Americans vs. Bosnians anymore, you can just play with yourself!
Cartman: That's fine! I like playing with myself! I'll play with myself all day long!
[Kenny laughs.]
Cartman: What?!
Roy: Hey, Stan! Wanna help me cut some firewood?
Stan: Dude, we cut firewood all day yesterday. We've got enough firewood for twelve years.
Roy: [in an impassioned, tormented voice] When will you let me in?! When will you let me love you?! [in a normal voice] Now get your ass down here and help me.
Miss Crabtree: Don't get off the bus or a big scary monster will eat you! [She gets off]
Butters: Hey, why doesn't the monster eat her?
Stan: Because, dumbass monsters don't eat big fat smelly bitches!
Miss Crabtree: What did you say?!
Stan: I said Larry King won't grant me three wishes.
Stan: Oh my god! Kenny...killed death??
• Rating 5.0 / 5 • Vote for this Quote! • August 30th, 2007 Ms. Crabtree: Get on this bus right now! We're running late!
Stan: We're not going, you fat ugly bitch.
Ms. Crabtree: What did you say?
Stan: I said we're not going, you fat ugly bitch.
Ms. Crabtree: Oh. Okay.(drives off)
Kyle: Whoa dude!
Stan: Dude, I never thought that would actually work.
Kyle: Well, that whole experience sure did suck.
Stan: Yeah, I'm sure glad that's over with.
Kyle: But you know, I've learned something today. I've learned that people who want power, a lot of power, always end up dead.
Cartman: Yeah, and I've learned something, too. Robert Smith kicks ass.
Stan: Wow, Robert Smith is the greatest person that ever lived!
Jesus: Our savior!
Wendy: Stan? We're still Valentines, right?
Stan: Sure, Wendy, whatever.
Stan: If my mom could cook like Cartman's mom I'd be a big fat ass too!
Cartman: That's right!
Stan: You know, I think I've learned something today. It's really easy not to think of images on TV as real people, but they are. That's why it's easy to ignore those commercials but people on TV are as real as you and I.
Kyle: Yeah... and that means that MacGyver is a real person too.