Stewie Griffin Quotes (Page 11)
Stewie Griffin: Don't... don't take me to a black doctor...
• Vote for this Quote! • July 18th, 2007Stewie Griffin: Oh, no, I didn't catch the ball in the cup! Oh, wait a minute, it's okay because the ball is on a string and attached to the cup.
• Vote for this Quote! • July 18th, 2007 Police officer: Now, SING!
Stewie Griffin: I shall do no such thing!
Kid: You must sing! If you don't, they'll make you do a Christmas movie with Tim Allen!
Stewie Griffin: [singing] It's a tiny, tiny world...i t's a tiny, tiny world...
Peter Griffin: Stewie, I know you're a little mad at me right now, but when you see where I'm taking you, you're gonna change your mind.
Stewie Griffin: Oh, yeah, right, I'm gonna change my mind. We just sat on a plane for three hours to come to Florida, God's waiting room, for who knows what... [sees a "DISNEY WORLD - 5 MILES" sign] ... OH, DISNEY WORLD! DISNEY WORLD, DISNEY WORLD! OH! OH! OH! I WANT TO GO TO DISNEY WORLD! OH, OH, DISNEY WORLD! DISNEY WORLD! OH, OH, OH! [sits down] I'm still mad at you.
Stewie Griffin: You know, the exam starts in three hours.
Brian Griffin: Oh, crap. All we did was work out.
Stewie Griffin: We should study.
Brian Griffin: Right.
Stewie Griffin: You know, I haven't taken a shower since we got here, I totally reek man, check this out... [Brian smells his underarms]
Brian Griffin: Ah! Come on!
Stewie Griffin: Tell me that's not epic!
Stewie Griffin: Oh no, did that hit "Crazy Stairs" !?
• Rating 5.0 / 5 • Vote for this Quote! • July 17th, 2007Stewie Griffin: He already has a roommate: me! We're a couple of crazy college kooks. For example, we're about to make a hilarious answering machine message. [Starts making message] Uh, you've reached Stewie and Brian. We're not here right now. Uh, and if this is Mom, uh, send money, because we're college students and we need money for books... and highlighters... and Ramen Noodles... and condoms for sexual relations with our classmates.
• Vote for this Quote! • July 17th, 2007 Brian Griffin: They want me to contribute to The New Yorker.
Stewie Griffin: The New Yorker? Oh, you'll fit in there as well as I did at Woodstock.
[cutaway to Stewie at Woodstock]
Stewie Griffin: Uh, excuse me, it's been brought to my attention that a few bad apples out there are smoking marijuana. Uh, I've got news for you, my friend. Marijuana's illegal. Not cool. [audience starts booing] Alright then. [Begins singing, to the tune of America the Beautiful] Establishment, establishment, you always know what's best...
Man in audience: You suck!
Stewie Griffin: Learn the rules!
Stewie Griffin (voiceover): "Cheeky Bastard" is filmed in front of a live studio audience. [Cut to a scene in the living room, where Stewie is sitting on the couch. Brian rushes in, wearing an apron and oven mitts]
Brian Griffin: Oh my God! Where's my roast pheasant?
Stewie Griffin: Hmm. By now, I think it's in my lower intestine. [canned laughter comprised of Stewie laughing]
Brian Griffin: You ate it? But I told you my boss was coming here for dinner!
Stewie Griffin: Well, unless he likes pork rinds, he's going home hungry. [the same canned laughter is heard again]
Brian Griffin: You cheeky bastard!
