Stewie Griffin Quotes (Page 13)
Stewie Griffin [to Meg]: Yep. [sigh] I suppose neither of us is really cut out for love and we shoul-- [to self] OH MY GOD, Jeremy's still in the trunk! Oh God, how long has it been? Uhh, l-let's see, t-two weeks. Yup. Yup, he's dead. Definitely dead.
• Vote for this Quote! • July 17th, 2007Stewie Griffin [to Jeremy]: Ha! I got your hat! Take that, hatless! Now go back to the quad and resume your hackey sack tourney! I'm not gonna lay down for some frat boy bastard with his damn Teva sandals and his Skoal Bandits and his Abercrombie and Fitch long sleeved, open stitched, crew neck Henley, smoking his sticky buds out of a soda can while watching his favorite downloaded Simpsons episodes every night! Yes, we all love Mr. Plow! Oh, you've got the song memorized, do you? SO DOES EVERYONE ELSE! That is exactly the kind of idiot you see at Taco Bell at 1 in the morning! The guy who just whiffed his way down the bar skank ladder!
• Vote for this Quote! • July 17th, 2007Stewie Griffin [in front of the mirror]: Oh, hey, Liddane. Hey, what's goin' on? How are you? Yeah. Oh, it's just me, Stewie, just, uh, bein' myself. Uh... yeah. Oh-oh, well, this here? Oh, it's just my package. Yeah, just-just, uh... just, uh, my package. God delivered it, I signed for it, the world keeps on spinnin', huh?
• Vote for this Quote! • July 17th, 2007 Stewie Griffin [from upstairs]: Meg! Meg, I'm hungry! There's a granola bar in the cupboard. I want it! Hey. Hey! What's this? What's going on? Am I talking to myself up there?
Meg Griffin [angrily]: Oh my God, Stewie, just shut up and go to bed!
Stewie Griffin: Do you know what I do, Meg? I spit in your mouth while you sleep.
Meg Griffin: Finally! Look, Mom, I've had it. I am not baby-sitting anymore. It's Saturday night, I could be out, HAVING A LIFE.
Lois Griffin: Meg, if you don't want to babysit anymore, that's fine. But don't you stand there and lie to me about Meg having a life.
Peter Griffin: Oh, Meg, she torched your ass, man. She torched your ass!
Stewie Griffin: You know, Meg, if you kill yourself now you'll probably get a full page in the yearbook. So, um, you know, that's something to think ab... [burps]. Oops, just burped.
• Rating 5.0 / 5 • Vote for this Quote! • July 17th, 2007Stewie Griffin: [voice pitch increases with every sentence] How you, uh, how you coming on that novel... you working on, huh? Got a big, uh, big stack of papers there? Got a, got a, got a nice little, nice little story you're working on there...your big novel you’ve been working on for three years. Huh? Got a, got a compelling protagonist, huh? Got an obstacle for him to overcome, huh? Little story brewing there... working on... working on that for quite some time, huh? Yeah, talking about that three years ago, huh? Been working on that the whole time? Nice little, uh, narrative--beginning, middle, and end? Some friends become enemies, some enemies become friends? Yeah? At the end your, uh, main character is, uh, richer for the experience? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? You got a-- [voice returns to mormal] no, no, you deserve some time off.
• Vote for this Quote! • July 10th, 2007Stewie Griffin: Well, I guess the pilot must have been JFK Jr. Ugh, even I found that to be in bad taste.
• Rating 5.0 / 5 • Vote for this Quote! • July 10th, 2007 Stewie Griffin: [singing] I want to have intercourse with you ... Uh, oh, yeah ... Intercourse with you
Brian Griffin: Relations!
Stewie Griffin: Intercourse with you-u-u-u ... Right?
Brian Griffin: Yeah, no, great, that sounds good.
Stewie Griffin: All right, all right, yeah, groovy, groovy. Now, uh, is there a shorter word for intercourse?
Peter Griffin: Hey, you still awake, Lois, honey?
Chris Griffin: Dad?
Peter Griffin: That's right, I'm your daddy. Shh-shh-shh-shh, don't talk, Lois, don't talk. Just let me do all the work. Yeah. Now feel my warm breath on the nape of your neck. My hands on your big, soft boobs, running down your big, man-like ch... holy crap, it's Chris! Uh, uh, so, uh...how you doin'? You do all your homework? Finish all your subjects?
Chris Griffin: Yes, sir.
Peter Griffin: Good. Just, uh, just checkin'. Have a good night, son. [feels his way out into the hallway and in another room] You still awake, honey?
Stewie Griffin: What the deuce?!
Brian Griffin: Peter, if you'll just let me talk, I'll explain to you why you shouldn't do this.
Peter Griffin: Later, later, Brian. I gotta do something that people will remember me for. Which is why I've invented a new type of flying machine.
Stewie Griffin: You know, I vaguely recall seeing footage somewhere of something exactly like this that, uh... leads me to believe this probably won't work.
Peter Griffin: Alright, Stewie, let her rip.
