Stewie Griffin Quotes (Page 19)
Lois Griffin: See, Meg, I'm like one of those bald eagles you see on the Discovery Channel. Beautiful to look at, but mess with one of my chicks and I'll use my razor-sharp talons to rip your [oven bell rings] ...ing eyes out! Cookies are done! Who wants chocolate chip?
Stewie Griffin: Mmm, I do! But... but keep talking. All this stuff about eye-gouging has got me all frisky. Really, I've got about a half a pack of Rolaids in my diaper.
Stewie Griffin: She packed my bags...last night, preflight. Zero hour, 9 am. [takes a hit] And I'm gonna be... high... as a kite by then. And I think it's gonna be a long, long time, 'till touchdown brings me 'round again to find: I'm not the man...they think I am at home. Oh, no, no no. I'm a rocket man. Rocket man, burning out his fuse out here, alone...And I think it's gonna be a long, long time, 'till touchdown brings me 'round again to find: I'm not the man they think I am at home. Oh, no, no, no. I'm a rock-it man. Rocket man, burning out his fuse out here, alone.
• Rating 5.0 / 5 • Vote for this Quote! • July 5th, 2007Stewie Griffin: Come talk to me sweethart. I know what it takes to be cool.
• Vote for this Quote! • July 5th, 2007 Meg Griffin Hey, everybody! Guess what I am?
Stewie Griffin: Oh, the end result of a drunken back-seat grope-fest and a broken prophylactic?
Meg Griffin: I'm on the flag girl squad!
Brian Griffin: So, you're a... you're a flag girl. That's great, Meg.
Stewie Griffin: Yes, yes. [long pause] Now you can be somewhere else when the boys don't call!
Stewie Griffin [leaps out of a tree and lands in front of Brian with a "snow cannon" on his shoulder]: Now is the winter of your discontent!
• Rating 5.0 / 5 • Vote for this Quote! • July 5th, 2007 Stewie Griffin: Don't give me that smug look! Fine. Well, you have extra-sensitive hearing, hear this: [Stewie mouths "F**k you"]
Brian Griffin: I'm telling.
Stewie Griffin: Uh, no, no... I... I said "vacuum" !
Brian Griffin: Well, why don't you teach her? [Eliza] Unless you don't think you're up to it.
Stewie Griffin: Oh, yes, this the part where I'm supposed to say, "Oh, I am so up to it!" [laughs] Well, I am! I accept your challenge. At the celebration of her birthday, I shall pass that gutter-snap off as a lady. And what are the stakes of this wager?
Brian Griffin: Why don't you shut up for about a week?
Stewie Griffin: Very well. And if I win?
Brian Griffin: Oh, I-I wasn't betting. Why don't you just shut up for about a week?
Stewie Griffin: [grabs a cigarette] Baby needs to suck ash, Baby needs to suck ash... [to another congressman] Not "ass," you pervert. Save it for the interns.
• Rating 4.5 / 5 • Vote for this Quote! • July 5th, 2007Stewie Griffin: I'm "Nudes On Ice" !!
• Vote for this Quote! • July 5th, 2007 Stewie Griffin: I say, Opie, I'll trade you this baseball for your souvenir bat.
Boy: Sure! [they trade, then Stewie whacks him with the bat and takes his ball back]
Stewie Griffin: What did you learn?