Stewie Griffin Quotes (Page 6)
Brian Griffin: Hey, I'm just trying to be ethical.
Stewie Griffin: Yeah, Right. You hate all mega-stores ever since you were petted way too hard by that special boy in front of K-Mart.
[cut to K-Mart, where Brian is putting away a shopping cart and a special boy in a padded helmet approaches him and starts petting him heavily, knocking him down]
Special Boy: Doggy!
Brian Griffin: Ow.
Special Boy: Doggy!
Brian Griffin: Ow!
Special Boy: Doggy!
Brian Griffin: Too hard!
Special Boy: I like doggy!
Brian Griffin: Too hard!
Special Boy: Doggy!
Brian Griffin: Gonna bite!
Special Boy: Doggy!
Brian Griffin: Gonna bite!
Brian Griffin: Giant megastores like Superstore USA are ruining this country. They don't pay their employees a decent wage or give them health benefits.
Stewie Griffin: Oh, yeah, all gay guys hate Superstore USA.
Brian Griffin: What?
Stewie Griffin: Hmm?
Stewie Griffin: Hey, Brian, I'm not going to recycle this aluminum can. I'm just going to throw it in the trash.
Brian: [pretends not to care, then after a moment, he goes and moves the can to the recycling bin as Stewie leaves]
Stewie Griffin [comes back]: Ha!! You're Earth's bitch!
Brian Griffin: Alright, look, let's get one thing straight, Stewie. The only reason you're here is that my boss ordered me to bring you on. Alright? This is my show, and it's a serious intellectual hour of discussion, and I want to keep it that way.
Stewie Griffin: Hey, no problem.
Brian Griffin: Alright, in three, two one! [on air] This is the lunch hour, with your host-
Stewie Griffin: HEYYYYYYYYYYY, WHAT'S UP, QUAHOG?! From the station that reaches the beaches, you're listening to Dingo and the Baby!
Brian Griffin: Whoa! Sometimes the, uh, crazy ones get through. OK, we have Rose from Cranston on the phone. Welcome, Rose, can I take your order?
Stewie Griffin [on the phone in falsetto voice]: Um, yes, that turkey... that raw turkey that you ate off the counter last week that got Lois mad: When you pooped that out, was the timer still in there?
Brian Griffin: Hi there. I'm Brian Griffin, and you're listening to The Lunch Hour, serving up food for the mind. Today's entrée is politics. What's on your mind today? The governor's budget? Stem cell research? Give us a hot spoonful of your opinion. OK, we have a question from Quahog. Caller, you're on The Lunch Hour. Can I take your order?
Stewie Griffin [on the phone]: Yes, uh, I'll have a big helping of the pretentious crap.
Stewie Griffin: I'm dying up here! What is this, a Tommy Lee pool party?
• Vote for this Quote! • July 24th, 2007 Stewie Griffin: Lois! Lois! Lois! Lois! Lois! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mommy! Mommy! Mommy! Mama! Mama! Mama! Ma! Ma! Ma! Ma! Mum! Mum! Mum! Mum! Mummy! Mummy! Mumma! Mumma! Mumma!
Lois Griffin: WHAT!?
Stewie Griffin: Hi.
Stewie Griffin: Oh, it is so hard to find funny women, and you are hilarious. Oh, you're like a female Bonnie Hunt!
• Vote for this Quote! • July 24th, 2007 Stu Griffin: We'll have to borrow the money from Mommy and Daddy. [Stewie grabs him by the eyelids]
Stewie Griffin: Never call them that again! It's Lois and the Fat Man! Do you hear me?
Stu Griffin: Yes, yes! [Stewie sniffis his hair]
Stewie Griffin: Smells like Head & Shoulders. But you don't have dandruff.
Stu Griffin: Exactly.
Stewie Griffin: Ahhh.
