Stewie Griffin Quotes (Page 8)
Brian Griffin: Come on, what are you doing in there?
Stewie Griffin: I'm brushing my teeth!
Brian Griffin: Come on, you only have like two of 'em, how long can it take?
[walks in on Stewie shaving his body hair]
Brian Griffin: Oh, uh, you... doin' a little hair removal there?
Stewie Griffin: Oh, uh, yeah. Um...you know, feel free to say "no" to this but, uh... would you shave my coin purse?
Brian Griffin: Oh... Oh, no! No way, man! Oh! H-Holy freaking God! Oh! [leaves]
Stewie Griffin: Huh. Don't have to be so uptight about it.
Stewie Griffin: You know, that is a remarkable resemblance, Brad. You on your back in the water ... you look like one of my STOOLS!
• Vote for this Quote! • July 19th, 2007 Stewie Griffin: I'll tell you who was brave: Gandhi.
[cut to a Comedy Club, where Ghandi is doing standup]
Mahatma Gandhi: ... And the black people are always like, "Hey, bitch!," and the Indian people, we do not call our women in such a way.
Man in Audience: Boo! You suck!
Meg Griffin: I HATE YOU ALL!
Stewie Griffin: Hey, I hate you too, bitch. Oh, no, no, I'm just kidding. Can you imagine?
Caveman Peter: People want Peter wheel thanks to sexy wife. Tonight, you and me party like it's 9!
[Stewie knocks Lois out with a club]
Caveman Stewie: Damn all. What deuce? Victory Stewie's.
Lois Griffin: Wait a minute, where's Meg?
Brian Griffin: I don't know.
Stewie Griffin: I didn't see her.
Chris Griffin: Yeah, I kinda thought you guys would attend to that.
Lois Griffin: Peter, you got to go back and get her.
Peter Griffin: Oh, yeah, right, like I'm going back for Meg.
Lois Griffin: Peter!
Peter Griffin: Lois, damn it, we both agreed, remember? If we could only save two, we leave Meg.
Lois Griffin: I know, but-
Meg Griffin: YOU BASTARD! HOW COULD YOU LEAVE ME IN THERE?!
Peter Griffin: Look... She's... Okay, see? It resolved itself.
Stewie Griffin: I haven't seen anything suck this much since... I Heart Huckabees!
• Vote for this Quote! • July 19th, 2007 Peter Griffin: Holy crap!
Brian Griffin: What the hell was that?
Lois Griffin: Stewie, what are you doing?!
Stewie Griffin [singsongy]: They're here.
Brian Griffin: Who's here?
Stewie Griffin: The TV people. What? No, they did a spin-off. Um, he's still playing Joey, but... uh, it's not doing so well.
Stewie Griffin: God, this is such an old people house, you know? I mean, look at this candy jar. Let's, uh, take a look in here. Let's see what you got here. You got, uh... oh, you got licorice. Oh, that's, uh, that's, uh... oh, oh, Freedent! Oh, that's good. Yeah, yeah, I got-- I got a sweet tooth, I think I'll have some Freedent. Yeah, uh, oh, oh, what's this? Oh, a cough drop, a Luden's cough drop. Is that candy? No, I don't think that's candy; I think it's a cough drop! Uh, what else we got? Oh, oh, look! Look at this! There's a fishing lure in here! There's a fishing lure in the candy jar! W-w-what! Am I-- am I supposed to eat this? Eat a fishing lure? Hey, look, Brian's on TV!
• Rating 5.0 / 5 • Vote for this Quote! • July 19th, 2007 Stewie Griffin: Ugh, this idiot will fit in with our family as badly as Peter fit in with The Proclaimers.
[cut to Peter in a recording room with the Proclaimers]
The Proclaimers: But I would walk 500 miles, And I would walk 500 more, Just to be the man who'd walk that thousand miles, to fall down at your door. Da da da!
Peter Griffin: DA DA DA!
The Proclaimers: Da da da!
Peter Griffin: [over them] Da da da! Da da da! [hits one of them and knocks him down] Da! I'm singing!