Stewie Griffin Quotes (Page 9)
Stewie Griffin: All right, Cathy, it looks like Stewie Griffin is preparing to begin the floor routine. That's right, Mitch, and as we watch Griffin doing this, I want to remind everyone that this is absolutely not gay.
[Stewie does his routine]
Brian Griffin: Boy, that was really gay.
Stewie Griffin: No, no, didn't you just hear the announcers? They said it's NOT gay. Ha ha! Stewie one, you zero.
Peter Griffin: I've steered our family through bigger problems, like when we were cartoon sketches on The Tracey Ullman Show.
[cutaway to a crude, Simpsons-like rendering of the Griffins in the front lawn, standing by a tombstone]
Lois Griffin: Well, that's the end of Puss. He was the best cat anyone ever had.
Peter Griffin: Say, Lois, whaddya say we go downtown and buy a dog?
Brian Griffin: Hey, wait a minute, you already have a dog!
Chris Griffin: So long, Puss.
Meg Griffin: We'll miss you.
Stewie Griffin: It's gonna be quite a different place with him gone, that's for true.
Stewie Griffin: Well, uh, you two are busy being nude, so, um, we'll just, uh, head out and, uh...let you be nude. [Brian and Stewie slowly walk out the front door backwards]
Peter Griffin: Who were those guys?
Lois Griffin: I don't know.
Stewie Griffin: Oh, God, I feel more delirious than my cousin, Stewie Cruise.
[cut to Stewie jumping on Oprah's couch]
Stewie Cruise: I'M IN LOVE WITH KATIE HOLMES! I'M IN LOVE WITH KATIE HOLMES! I'M NOT GAY! GO SEE MY NEW MOVIE! I'M IN LOVE WITH KATIE HOLMES! I'M NOT GAY!
Meg Griffin: What are you doing here, Brian? Still trying to smear my boss?
Brian Griffin: No, no, no. I actually came to my senses and realized I was out of line. Uh, I'm just here to apologize. [hits Stewie]
Stewie Griffin: Oh, and, uh, [in a dazed and forced voice, to Meg] You're so pretty. You're always pretty.
Meg Griffin: Aw, you guys are so sweet. [kisses Stewie on the cheek]
Stewie Griffin: Oh, well, it's my pleasure.
Meg Griffin: Hey, can you guys hold on a sec? I gotta get this to Helen in accounting. [walks out of the room]
Stewie Griffin: Okay, bye. [vomits in a vase]
Brian Griffin: Thank you for coming, Deep Throat.
Kermit the Frog: [hiding] You'll understand if I don't come out from the shadows, my identity will be safest if you never see my face.
Brian Griffin: Uh... okay.
Kermit the Frog: Mayor West hasn't slept at home for three nights!
Brian Griffin: Kermit the Frog?
Kermit the Frog: [gasps, flees] Somebody talked! No one is safe! I'm getting out of here!
Stewie Griffin: What's his appeal, anyway!
Stewie Griffin: Oh my God, speed up, speed up, speed up! [drives past Cleveland]
Cleveland Brown: OH THERE YOU ARE, YOU HONKY SUMBITCH! COME BACK HERE!
Lois Griffin: You know, it would be fun to write some new songs.
Stewie Griffin: You know what else is fun? Watching Mr. Belvedere without people talking so loud.
Lois Griffin: So I was thinking we could ...
Stewie Griffin: [singing] STREAKS ON THE CHINA, NEVER MATTERED BEFORE, WHO CARED? WHEN YOU DROP-KICKED YOUR JACKET, WHEN YOU CAME THROUGH THE DOOR, NO ONE GLARED!
Boy: No! Jungle gym mine!
Stewie Griffin: Hey, where'd you get the Pete Rose haircut?
Stewie Griffin: By the way, you call those cheap implants "boobs?" Those aren't boobs... they're lies!
• Rating 5.0 / 5 • Vote for this Quote! • July 18th, 2007
