Susan Mayer Quotes
Susan: "Well, I am certainly not playing with a woman that is willing to let Mike take the fall for her psycho husband."
Bree: "Well, needless to say, I won't be cooking dinner for Ian's parents."
Susan: "Fine. I'll cook myself."
Bree: "Good. Let me know if there are any survivors."
Susan: "And if you take Orson back, you do the same."
Susan: "What are you saying? You think Mike is guilty?"
Lynette: Hey, why don't we start that girl talk?"
Gabrielle: "I'll get the ball rolling. Anybody have a yeast infection?"
Bree: "They found Monique's blood on the wrench that Mike was trying to dispose of. I mean, that hardly screams innocence."
Susan: "Her teeth were pulled. You don't think that's worth telling the cops she was messing around with a dentist?"
Susan: "Is Edie getting you a good lawyer?"
Mike: "I doubt it. She dumped me today."
Susan: "What? Why?"
Mike: "Well, I was arrested for murder."
Susan: "Still. It's tacky."
Susan: "So I'm cooking dinner for Ian's parents tomorrow night, and it's the first time I'm meeting them, so I sort of wanna impress them."
Bree: "And yet you're cooking?"
Susan: "I assume this means they know about me?"
Ian: "But of course."
Susan: "And they know about me as in" (in a bad British accent) "Mum, Dad, bloody good news. I've got myself a smashing new girlfriend."
Ian: "That's adorable. Please don't do it in front of them."
Susan: "You have to kiss me. It's the law."
• Vote for this Quote! • August 22nd, 2007Susan: "What is that smell?"
Rupert: "Oh, yes, about that. The cat passed away in this room."
Susan: "Did you consider removing the body?"
Susan: "Are you crazy? If we don't do something, those two could end up having sex!"
Edie: "Could?"
Susan: "Oh, my God. You don't..."
Edie: "Let me put it this way. I got a box of condoms in my dresser. 11 are gone. I can only account for eight of 'em."
Susan: "Julie, that boy drinks, he steals, and now I find him mauling you on my couch? That's it. I forbid you to see him."
Julie: "You can't do that. I choose who I date."
Susan: "Yeah? Well, I choose to ground you. Two weeks, baby."
Julie: "Fine, I'll just see him at school."
Susan: "Well, then you won't go to school. I'll home school you."
Julie: "Right, you're gonna teach me trig? You can't even balance your own checkbook."
Susan: "Okay, I thought the restaurant was fantastic and you were the fussy snob who was impossible to please."
Ian: "Why do I have to be the fussy snob?"
Susan: "Because you're British."
Ian: "Fine. But I trust you'll make it up to me later by doing the things a gentleman expects when he's sprung for lobster."
