Susan Mayer Quotes (Page 2)
Susan: "Hey, is that the new neighbor?"
Gabrielle: "Oh, he's cute!"
Lynette: "Edie said he's a bachelor..."
Gabrielle: "Keep talking."
Lynette: "...who lives with his invalid sister."
Gabrielle: "You can stop now."
Susan: "Should we go introduce ourselves?"
Gabrielle: "Yeah, let's give him the scoop on the neighborhood."
Lynette: "Do you think he knows Mary Alice shot herself in his living room?"
Susan: "Then again, he probably wants some time to unpack."
Susan: "Oh, I cannot believe your timing. I'm about to fly off to Paris and you're inviting boys over for Oktoberfest."
Julie: "Oh, that's it! Go to your room and finish packing. This conversation's over."
Susan: "The last time I checked, I was the parent."
Julie: "Yeah, well, the last time I checked, I was the daughter who never gave you any reason to doubt her."
Susan: "Okay, I -"
Julie: "And don't play the parent card with me. I just finished packing your suitcase, doing your laundry, and balancing your checkbook. Now I'm going to the store to buy your toothpaste."
Susan: "Well, a simple 'No, I didn't drink beer' would've sufficed."
Susan: "I would like to trade places with one of the people inside. Don't, don't you do that?"
Cop: "Oh, you mean our hostage exchange program?"
Gabrielle: "Can I tell you guys something? Something I can only tell you guys?"
Susan: "Oh, God, here she goes again. What grade is he in?"
Susan: "So where were we?"
Lynette: "You were trying to figure out how to kill Edie without doing time."
Susan: "Oh, right. Oh, I wish Paul Young was still around. He'd know what to do."
Gabrielle: "Hey! C**ktails? Nobody called me?"
Susan: "It was spur-of-the-moment. We're numbing the pain of our miserable lives."
Gabrielle: "Oh. Well, I was trying to do that with exercise, but why risk the heart attack? Make mine a double!"
Ian: "How are things with Mike?"
Susan: "Oh, uh, they're moving along. It's a process."
Ian: "And the, uh, blonde woman who's been visiting him every day, is she part of the process?"
Susan: "Uh, Edie? Oh, she's just a neighbor. She visits Mike after her Hepatitis C treatments."
Susan: "No, no, no, no! No, no, this, this is not how this ends. No, evil does not triumph over good."
Edie: "That's how you see me?"
Susan: "Damn straight! You lie, you cheat, you scheme! You ruin peoples' relationships! I mean, how do you sleep at night?"
Edie: "Soon with Mike on top of me, if you know what I mean."
Susan: "See? Evil! Evil! "
Nurse: "You need to leave."
Susan: "What?"
Nurse: "You're disturbing the other patients."
Susan: "No, what are you... oh, this is ridiculous! I mean, who am I disturbing? It's a coma ward! Don't you want them to wake up?!"
Ian: "You think I am? Well, I assure you, I'm as capable of having meaningless sex as you are."
Susan: "I have never had meaningless sex."
Ian: "So you were, you were passionately in love, and deeply committed to all eleven of your conquests?"
Susan: "Don't judge me, Mr. Virgin plus one!"
